"Just so" nothing happens - there are no emotions, feelings and sympathies are not born. It became sad or joyfully, liked it or did not like it - all emotions pass through the subconscious. You do not notice most of what is postponed in it, and as a result, you think that all the feelings are "random."

Now imagine that you know how to lay a thought or feeling in the subconscious of another person. Before you - huge opportunities, you just need to practice.

Built-in teams - speech traps

The built-in message is part of the phrase that is allocated by intonation or gesture. A person may not pay attention to her, but she has already sneak into the subconscious and falling there.

How it works: You speak your nervous friend: "I had a friend who even led himself during the search calm and confident" Part of the phrase allocated in italics, you say with another intonation. A person who listens to you thinks about your familiar or search, and at this time the built-in team "calmly and confidently" orders him to behave this way.

Another example: You need to create a friendly atmosphere in the company, to make people feel relaxed and comfortable. You begin to tell any story, highlighting intonation words such as "pleasant", "relaxed", "happiness." The story may be about your favorite cat, a new film or adventure on the past weekend. People capture positive words and automatically apply them to themselves as the team relax and be happy. As a result, the atmosphere will become more fun and relaxed.

Rules of hidden influence

Remember, the most important thing in the hidden teams is two levels of perception. Do not combine them in meaning, and then your team will only affect consciousness.

Phrase: "Let's relax now and have fun" will not give a strong effect. People will understand your call, he will not penetrate into their subconscious, and you will see all the same dull faces. And if you tell any story with hidden teams: "Last Friday we are fine relaxingb in a bar on the N street, and fun It just started, "the mood in the company will begin to gradually improve.

Clear intonation

Change intonation only On that phrase that you need to highlight. All other words, framing your hidden teams, should usually sound, otherwise the effect is blurred. You can even apply small pauses before the hidden team and after it.

Attention to the words

With hidden teams, it is necessary to be extremely attentive and careful. Fucking negative hidden teams, they can not only create a bad mood in humans, but also to provide you with antipathy on his part.

Practice at the environment - tell a couple of stories and see how a friend or employee will change.

Just do not wait for miracles - if a wife left the wife and took half of the furniture, your story with the team "Relaxation and joy" is unlikely to make him insanely happy.

When a person is interested in how to influence people and manage them, many forget about ethical aspects, freedom of manifestation of their own will, as well as possible consequences. Therefore, before proceeding to the description of various psychological features and impact techniques, I want to mention the negative sides and make warnings. So, if you have influenced by a person constantly, declining it to certain solutions, then not only his volitional function is frustrated, but also the core of the person he himself, living the opposite of his beliefs.

It makes sense to think about how to influence the psyche of a person with favorable consequences, contributing to its development or improved mood. The basic influence is not actual information, a presented person, but by emotions arising in the process of interaction. The response does not occur in itself, there is a mass of factors and in the end you can speak extremely unpleasant things, causing a sympathy. For influence, an intonational palette, verbal signals and certain anchors that exist in the psyche are used.

A strong influence has information laid in the subconscious - then the person will not only listen and fulfill the necessary regulations, but it will independently build a coordinated line of behavior.

Psychology of influence on people

There are many tricks of psychological perception that help to figure out how to influence other people. There is no need to use certain techniques and tricks, but it is necessary to remember the features of the psyche and in time to edit their behavior or features of the presentation of information on time, and accidentally emerging circumstances can be used.

One of the most interesting points in the peculiarities of the perception of others is that the availability of shortcomings and weaknesses that are not critical for social norms and morals make a person more enjoyable for others. It allows you to relax yourself and stop striving to achieve perfection in everything - when a nearby person also wants to be alive.

So, if you show fatigue at the end of the working day, then you will cause more trust at the collective, and if you come in imperfect clothing or paint stains, then in the sincerity of your words will not doubt.

The ideality causes tension and distance, and the presence of small flaws makes you closer to people. With a close and confidence distance, you can afford much more, and the information will not be subjected to tough criticism.

The second point, allowing to achieve the location - appeal by name. Your own name is the sound that a person got used to heare most often, responding on behavioral and emotional level.

The appeal by the surname in turn can make a person strain - immediately recall school lessons and comments, as well as workshops. The name is something sacred, and the more often you will contact the person so much, the calmer and inevitable will be next to you, which means that the many information that you say will immediately fall into the subconscious. However, it is worth not to overdo it, since the frequent appeal by the name can cause the reverse reaction of the voltage and distrust.

Building your requests can also be adjusted relative to the peculiarities of human perception. Try to avoid direct wording, use question intonations instead. The best option when you yourself provide a person to choose what to do, but at the same time limit it to those options that are suitable for you. Those. When you need help in the garden and stuffed things from dry cleaning, it is worthwhile to ask that from these items a person chooses to do. In such a context, it is possible to abandon the possibility of refusing in advance, and the number of elections is reduced to the categories you need.

When it seems that a person will resist some solution or impact, then it is worth discussing with him extremely minor questions, without questioning what you need. In the case of a trip, you can argue about terms, transport and luggage quantities, but not the very fact of travel. This technique works even with children, distracting from a conflict moment - morning fees may include barcas at the expense of clothing and the one who carries a backpack, then the idea that there is an option not to go to school is excluded.

Another option how to achieve the desired - to ask for a lot and inaccessible immediately, and then reduce the bar to the level of the necessary one. The man who refused in a great request may experience a guilt, the desire to get rid of which is pretty much, so if you immediately offer him the opportunity to pay off less, consent comes almost instantly.

People affect each other even passivity, for example, a long pause causes a person to tell more about the previous topic. The awkwardness of silence is seriously transferred psychologically, and social norms require constant maintenance of the dialogue, so if you deliberately tighten the pause, then the interlocutor will be forced to fill it with something. For these fills, the latest questioned question or emotional experiences of the interlocutor are usually selected.

In general, try to speak smaller, providing another opportunity to speak out, designate your position. Not only does everyone prefers to listen to, so there are still little in our world, so the good listener is immediately penetrated by confidence, telling more and more. Even if you have greater experience and more accurate knowledge of some question, you still listen to - you will receive information about the person himself and its life concept, and on time asked questions will help turn the conversation in the right direction.

Installing a close contact allows such a feature that a person feels that he is listening to when they said to paraphrase, return the same information a bit altered in shape, but not in meaning. Gradually, it is possible to add their ideas for visiting the text of the interlocutor (everything you add, will be perceived as your own thoughts).

These are the main features of the human psyche, allowing more to succumb to influence: the maximum level of confidence in the interlocutor and the manifestation of its freedom. The more you will master the art of calling trust and create a choice for a person, the possibility of choosing and the illusion of the situation control, the more power get not only over the actions (which can be forced), but also the motivational and emotional sphere (only inspiration is needed).

Methods and methods of influence on people

There are certain techniques that allow you to influence the further relationship or behavior of people, and they are described in the literature, were repeatedly discussed by psychologists and sociologists, but everyone continues to act. Even if a person has long been aware of the moments of special influence, he will still be subject to him, the only thing that can change is the degree and timely awareness of the manipulative impact, but the necessary feelings will have time to arise, and some actions may not go to the level of consciousness.

The classic of influence is the ability to make a friend from the enemy by request. When it is useless to negotiate, but only positive cooperation methods remain measurable. Naturally, a direct offer can only cause alertness or aggression, so it is necessary at the most neutral position to ask a person about a certain user who benefits for you, but rather simple to fulfill for it. Write a pen, ask the address, ask to help convey the box to the office - such small things made with care about you are knocked down a competing program or hostility.

Choose words in accordance with what opinion a person about himself, even if it does not coincide with your vision of the situation. In some moments it can resemble flattery, but if such speeches fall at the very point of self-perception, then you can be the first person who estimated the other as he has always seen it. Since everyone seeks to surround themselves like-minded people, then after the exact characteristics of the person himself, you can say anything - this will also be perceived as truth.

To get closer to enter the trust, you can try to reflect not only the perception by the man of the world, but also his physical manifestations. Copying the posture, speech and volume of voice are the foundations of neurolinguistic programming, which really works. The system is built on the fact that after appropriate copying of gestures and other manifestations of a person, you can begin to make your influence, and it will already repeat your movements and thoughts, as before you specifically did you.

This mechanism was built at a high level of sense of own significance, when others copy our behavior - in the animal level the whole pack tries to adapt under the manifestations of the leader. So, when influencing, not only logical components can be used, but also evolutionary unfinished mechanisms. When communicate with a person, show your participation and understanding what his speech is going and your joint dialogue - navigate, Cooker, repeat last words and use other techniques confirming your active participation in communication.

An important point is the choice of an emotional interlocutor when referring to a request or proposal. So, the tired person is unlikely to refuse, rather, he will postpone the decision on another day - while the chances of a positive outcome increase. IN good mood The person agrees faster on simple and understandable requests where it does not need to solve current moments and think about how to do it better. Therefore, if you have a ready-made specific plan, requiring exclusively permission, then wait for a raised mood, but if you need to dying a few incomprehensible questions, then choose the second half of the day when people are tired.

Try to start with small - please read the article or go with you to the nearest office, listen to some song or visit the free exhibition. Such actions leave the feeling that a person has already made something in the necessary direction, i.e. When you offer to visit a paid continuation of a free lecture, he will agree faster. The main thing in this approach of phased tightening to observe the pauses, stretching every step for several days or weeks. There are two principles at once - pauses, during which a person has time to think about what is happening, feel obligated, and also to evaluate their own efforts. It is always easier to abandon where its own energy has not been directed than from nothing that is worthwhile, where it was invested at least time.

Look for what is beneficial to a person and start with positioning it is his interests, because the main thing is personal motivation. When it fails to find anything. What can be given to the interlocutor (emotions, title, feeling of involvement or removal of guilt), then use two direct impacts that sometimes work where all the techniques of influence are powerless. The first is a polite request, bribing with its sincerity, openness and intelligence. Many, exposed to frequent, as the open appeal is never appreciated. The second version of this fair appeal is the cash payment of the desired result. Such a business approach is able to resolve many conflict moments and to cooperate even former competitors.

Before starting, it is worth noting that none of the following methods falls under the fact that you can call the "dark art of impact" on people. Everything that may damage to a person or to hurt his dignity here is not given. These are ways with which you can conquer friends and influence people using psychology, without making anyone to feel bad.

Request a service

Cunning: Request someone about favoring for you (a way known as the effect of Benjamin Franklin). The legend states that Benjamin Franklin once wanted to win the location of a person who did not love him. He asked this person to lend him a rare book, and when he got her, he was very kindly thanked him. As a result, a person who did not particularly want to even talk to Franklin, made friends with him. According to Franklin: "One who once made you a good deed, will be more located to make something good for you once more than the one you yourself are required." Scientists decided to test this theory, and ultimately found that those people who researcher asked for personalobolence were much more favorable to a specialist compared to other groups of people.
Influence on human behavior

Mattake above

Cunning: Always ask more than you initially need, and then lower the bar. This technique is sometimes called the "approach door in the face." You contact a person with a truly too high request, from which he will most likely refuse. After this, you return to the "rank below", namely, you actually need from this person. This trick may seem to you with a illogical, but the idea is that a person will feel bad after he refuses you. However, he will explain it to himself the unreasonability of the request. Therefore, the next time you contact him with your real need for him, it will feel obliged to help you. Acquired after the test in the practice of this principle, came to the conclusion that he actually works, because the person who first appeals With a very "big" request, and then return to him and ask for a small one, feels that it should help you.

Influence of the name per person.

Call names

Cunning: Use the person's name or call him a position depending on the situation. Dale Carnegie, the author of the book "How to conquer friends and influence people," believes that frequent mention in the conversation name of the person is incredibly important. He emphasizes that the person's name in any language is the sweetest combination of sounds for him. Cartaging says that the name is the main component of human identity, therefore, when we hear it, once again we receive confirmation of your significance. That is why we feel more positively tuned towards a person who confirms our significance in the world. However, the use of posts or other form of handling in speech may also have a strong impact. The idea is that if you behave like a certain type of person, then you will become this man. It is somewhat similar to prophecy. To use this technique to influence other people, you can contact them as you would like to see them. In the end, they will start thinking about themselves in this vein. It is very simple if you want to get close to a certain person, then more often call him "friend", "Comrade". Or referring to someone, who would you like to work, you can call it a "boss". But keep in mind that sometimes you can get out of it.

The influence of words per person.

Lower

Cunning: Flying can lead you to where you need. It may seem obvious at first glance, but there are some important reservations. To begin with, it is worth noting that if flattering is not sincere, then it is most likely more harm than good. However, scientists who studied the flattery and reactions of people to her revealed several very important things. Simply put, people always try to maintain a cognitive balance, trying to organize their thoughts and feelings in a similar way. Therefore, if you flatter a person whose self-esteem is high, and the flattery is sincere, you like him more, because the flattery coincides with what he is thinking about himself. However, if you flatter the one who has self-esteem suffers, then negative consequences are possible.

It is likely that he will be worse to treat you, because it does not intersect how he perceives himself. It does not mean that a person with low self-esteem should be humiliated.

Methods of influence on people.

Reflect the behavior of other people

Cunning: Be a mirror image of the behavior of another person. The mirror reflection of behavior is also known as mimicry, and this is something that a certain type of people is characteristic of their nature. People with this skill are called chameleons, because they are trying to merge with their environment by copying someone else's behavior, manner and even speech. Nevertheless, this skill can be used quite consciously, and this is a great way to enjoy. The researchers studied mimicry and found that those whom they copied were very favorably tuned towards a person who copied them. Also, experts came to another, more interesting conclusion. They revealed that people who have imitators treated people in general, even to those who were not involved in the study. It is likely that the reason for such a reaction lies in the following. The presence of a person who mirrors reflect your behavior confirms your importance. People feel great confidence in themselves, so they are happier and well tuned towards other people.

Psychology of influence on people.

Use fatigue

Cunning: Ask about favoring when you see that the man is tired. When a person gets tired, he becomes more susceptible to any information, whether the usual statement about something or request. The reason is that when a person gets tired, it happens not only at the physical level, its mental energy supply is also depleted. When you appeal to the tired person, most likely, you will not receive a certain answer right away, and hear: "I will do it tomorrow," because he does not want to make any decisions at the moment. The next day, most likely, a person will actually fulfill your request, because at the subconscious level most people try to keep their Word, so we are watching what we say to coincide with what we do.

Psychological influence on man.

Offer something from what a person cannot refuse

Cunning: Start the conversation from what the interlocutor cannot refuse, and you will achieve what you need. This is the reverse side of the "door in the face" approach. Instead of starting a conversation from request, you start with something minor. As soon as a person agrees to help you in small, or simply agree to something, you can go into the course of "heavy artillery". Experts checked this theory on marketing approaches. They began with the fact that they asked people about expressing support for tropical forest protection and ambientWhat is a very simple request. As soon as the support was received, scientists revealed that now people are much easier to convince you to buy products that contribute to this support. However, you should not start with one request and immediately go to another. Psychologists have discovered that much more effectively take a break in 1-2 days.

Takes of influence on people.

Keep calm

Cunning: Do not correlate a person when he is wrong. In his famous book, Carnegie also emphasized that they should not tell people about their wrong. This, as a rule, will not lead to anything, and you just get into disfavor to this person. In fact, there is a way to show disagreement, while continuing to a polite conversation, not to tell anyone that he is not right, but hitting the ego of the interlocutor to the depths of the soul. The method was invented by Ray Ransberger and Marshall Fritz (Marshall Fritz). The idea is pretty simple: instead of arguing, listening to what a man says, and then try to understand what he feels and why. After that, you should explain to a person those moments that you share with him and use it as a starting point to clarify your position. It will make it more favorable to you, and he most likely listens to what you say, while not losing your face.

The influence of people on each other.

Repeat the words of your interlocutor

Cunning: Rephrase what a man says and repeat what he said. This is one of the most amazing ways to influence other people. So you show your interlocutor that you actually understand him, catch His feelings and your empathy sincere. That is, paraphrasing the words of his interlocutor, you will achieve its location very easily. This phenomenon is known as a reflective listening. Studies have shown that when doctors use this technique, people are more revealed before them, and their "cooperation" is more fruitful. It is easy to use and in conversation with friends. If you listen to what they say, and then rephrase said, forming a question to confirm, they will feel very comfortable with you. You will have a strong friendship, and they will more actively listen to what you say, because you have managed to show what you care about them.

Methods of influence on people.

Close head

Cunning: Close a little head during a conversation, especially if you want to ask for something of your interlocutor. Scientists have found that when a man nods, listening to someone, he is more likely to agree with what was said. They also revealed that if your interlocutor nods, then you will also nod you in most cases. This is quite explained, because people often unconsciously imitate the behavior of another person, especially the interaction with which they will benefit. Therefore, if you want to add weight to what you say, navigate regularly during the conversation. The person with whom you are saying will be difficult not to navigate in response, and it will start positively to the present information you think, without even suspecting it.

The social environment in which a person lives from birth, implies communication. In the process of communication and perception of information, we are subject to psychological exposure, without being suspected. These manifestations studies psychology. The same science explores the techniques of influence in communication of people with each other at work, at home and in any other place.

Methods of psychological impact and their differences

Methods of psychological impact on the personality of a person in psychology is:

• infection;
• suggestion;
• conviction;
• imitation.

Some of these methods you have already used unconsciously, and which of these methods checked on you. Infection, suggestion, conviction and imitation is the ways of influence on the psychological state of people. Let's analyze them in detail so as not to get to the catch of fraudsters.

Infection

it psychological impact The consciousness of a person is the most ancient and most studied method. It is based on transmission emotional state From person to man. Agree that it happened to every day when you are in beautiful moodAnd suddenly a person appears with tears in the eyes and all signs of hysterics.

As you listen to his shifting history, your mood will deteriorate, and your mental state begins to be similar to the experience of the interlocutor. There is no need to tell any particularly impressionable nature, they are at the emotional level they are able to perceive signals coming from people near them.

Another example, which characterizes the method of infection and which uses the psychology of influence on people - panic. It acts, as a rule, in the crowd. If many people are in the same critical conditions, and one of them begins to panic, this feeling is transmitted to the majority of those present.

Have you heard about panic on board airplanes or in a breaking elevator? These are the cases when one person panicked, and this feeling passed to many

But you can not "get infected" negative emotions. There are laughter, fun, positive vitality.

Suggestion

The second class of psychological impact on the individual is a suggestion. In this case, the psychology of influence on a person is on an emotional background, causing acting as it makes the opponent. But if the infection is the transfer of a psychological state, as a result of which a person acts one way or another, the suggestion is the conviction of a person to act as they say with the help of verbal instruments (words, visual contact and others).

In order for the suggestion to become an effective tool, you must comply with your words. If a person is trying to "teach you to live" and dictates the rules of behavior in society or the laws of achieving success, his reputation, appearance And the manner of talking should cause respect and desire to imitate.

But when you have exhausted individuals in dirty clothes and with traces of alcohol intoxication, his appeals for a new life look sorry and funny. Therefore, wanting to help a person by the Council, try to understand the situation in which the unfortunate. Peel into the problem and put yourself in its place. Only after that you can tell something to someone who is looking for support from you.

You can only inspire your thoughts with a confident voice

Another an important nuance - the psychology of impact on a person says that you can inspire your thoughts to people only with a confident voice in which there is no shadow of doubt. Sometimes on how the phrase is pronounced, the success or failure of ideas depends.

There is another factor that determines the result of the impact on a person is a suggestibility. The power of suggestion depends on how much the person is inspired, and this is an individual indicator. High levels This indicator is characterized by children under the age of 13 and insecure in themselves, indecisive people.

Especially good is the suggestion in the case, if you connect the meaning of words with which the suggestion occurs with external informationthat is familiar and understandable to the sudden. If you are trying to send a person to the "True path" and at the same time spend the parallel with those facts that are close to him, it will have a strong psychological impact on it. If you want to prove to a person that, as a result of the action inspired by him, he will be pleased, give an example of a negative result, which is waiting for it in the opposite case.

Using "Winged statements" or well-known examples of positive or negative generation experience, you will achieve significant results in the art of suggestion

Conviction

The conviction is one of the most harmless and effective methods of psychological impact on a person. It is based on the facts that become understandable as a result of building a logical chain of reflection. Using various methods of influence on people, the level of intellectual development of the opponent should be taken into account. Prove something to a person who is below you mental Development - ridiculous. Your arguments will not be understood and accepted. If you are trying to convince some of the one who is smarter than you, it will look ridiculous.

When the first portion reaches the first portion new informationHis brain is looking for explanations. And now from the art of one who convinces depends, they will believe him or not. Well, if you manage to make a person trust you, but the rest depends on the methods of psychological impact, alternating new data. The most important thing is that we require ways psychological influence On a person - do not deceive the opponent. As soon as a person feel false in words, the level of trust will fall at times. If this happens, you can completely lose the trust and attention of this person.

So that you really believed, you must fit the way of life or statements that are trying to convey to the opponent. Your words should emit strength, and you make the impression of a reputable and self-confident person.

So, all coincided:

• The level of development of the opponent:
• The truth of your statements;
• Compliance of the image and statements.

Your words should emit strength, and you make the impression of a reputable and self-confident person

Now you need to choose a behavior strategy that will help influence a person psychologically. There are several strategies.

• Aggressive. It is built on the contradiction of proved facts. This proves to man that you are an extraordinary person and are very different from it. He appears a desire to listen to you and unravel the logical chain that you have configured. Therefore, he carefully listens to each word. But this strategy of psychological impact on a person is characteristic of the words and beliefs professionals.
• Passive. This strategy works only if you know the interlocutor well. Carefully leading examples from his own life, comparing them with well-known white light Cases, you bring the opponent to the thoughts you want to convey. Do not allow inconsistencies and discrepancies in judgment. This will discard the work done for several positions back.

Now you know how to psychologically affect the person when talking. Use the "belief" method by applying logic laws and building logical chains.

Leonardo Dicaprio and Matt Damon, Frame from the film "Apostates"

Imitation

Many subconsciously use the methods of affecting the person, without even suspecting it. Reaching some heights in a career or intellectual plan, we become the object of respect and admiration. Less experienced people seek to take an example from the one who has already embodied their aspirations. But the imitation object should "keep the brand" always. It must be attractive, bright, memorable, amazing. That is, satisfy the desire of the opponent to follow the ideal.

Means of psychological impact on man

On the example of one of the means of psychological impact on the masses, it is possible to consider, which has become ordinary phenomenon, advertising. Relatively recent advertising existed as signs at stores, cafes or cafes of catering. These were ordinary posters, recommending movies of films or pop stars concerts.

Today, advertising has become large-scale high-quality rollers who not only inform people about the product, representation or announcement, they force the choice in favor of this or that product, form the formation of values \u200b\u200band direct the thoughts and actions of a person in the right direction. It is important to pay attention to what your children look, since there is an impact that affecting the identity.

Many believe that psychological is the engine of trade (the phrase is beaten, but this is true), others believe that demand implies the release of new products, the struggle for the championship between which is solved by advertising. This is one of the most effective tools that affect the mass of people and force to act under the dictation.

This applies not only to some product or singer, advertising can be inclined public opinion in favor of a candidate for election in the government. This method is also called "manipulation by public opinion" or "dark art of the impact on people." Moreover, the manipulation is carried out not forced, but methods of correctly building a candidate's advertising program. It turns out that it is necessary to electorate at this stage of the formation and development of society and the general phrases and promises are customized. Each person "sees" in these worses benefits for himself and votes for this chosen one.

Objectives of psychological impact on man

Mental impact on a person has its own goal - the desire to force a person consciously or unconsciously obey certain settings, standards, laws or requirements.

The director in the team of subordinates, using psychological techniques of influence on the interlocutor, has its own goal - to rally people or give them food to reflections and actions for the benefit of the company in which they work.

Psychological suggests the goal of growing of them good, educated and law-abiding citizens.

Parents know how to psychologically affect their child, for example, to make it

The psychological impact of advertising persecutes the goal to make a particular advertised product, vote for the right candidate or watch a film that has been spent a lot of money, and they must be returned in the shortest possible time.

Not always, the techniques of influence on people imply follow the good idea. This can be seen on the example of suicide bombers. After all, these people were subjected to suggestion, processing and hypnosis in order to destroy themselves like. Together with the mass of the people they kill, they die themselves. And this is contrary to human nature. Consequently, with the help of psychological impact, it is possible to drastically change the world-seeming of a person, to make it a puppet in other people's hands and to force contrary to common sense.

As already mentioned, any psychological impact fully has its impact on the insecure people. Competent, educated and confident individuals are poorly sufficiently sustainable, infection and conviction.

The hidden psychological impact on communication partner in order to achieve favorable behavior from him is called manipulation. In communications with itself, not realizing, people often use manipulative methods, especially when they want to achieve something from another person. Since the concept of "manipulation" is all understood in different ways, consider what manipulation is.

As mentioned above, manipulation is a hidden psychological impact. In conclusion, I will say that the topic of manipulation in communication, of course, is not exhausted by this publication and will be continued. To illustrate the concept of manipulation, we give an example. In this case, this example of manipulation on the needs of a person looks beautiful to look in the eyes of the rehabilk object. You are sitting in a summer cafe with a girl you care for and lead a secular conversation about life and love with her. And here it is suitable for a pretty teenage girl (or no less pretty grandmother) with bouquet of flowers and offers you to buy them. What do you think is the usual slightly obsessive offer about buying or manipulation? Answer: Manipulation. Why? Because there is a hidden calculation on the fact that you will be embarrassed to give up the purchase of flowers for this girl (and for whom else !?) in front of the girl itself. After all, she will think that you feel sorry for her colors, and you will feel the whole hour to feel the courage and fool. Therefore, often a man is easier to pay off from their awkwardness and not spoil the evening. On this and the calculation.

Thus, the difference in manipulation from other ways of exposure is that when manipulating, except for an explicit and open motive (trade offer), there is a hidden motive, the calculation, the subtext (it will be awkward to look stupid).

An example of manipulation in trade. In the store, the buyer chooses the goods, hesitantly considering the cheaper, then more expensive things.
Seller: - This model is better, but it is probably expensive for you.
Buyer: - Here I will take it.

At the external level, the seller stated some truthful facts: high quality things and low financial capabilities of the buyer. The hidden meaning of this manipulation is the calculation of the buyer's desire at least in front of the seller (and it means to some extent in front of them) looks respectable. The buyer took an expensive thing, stroking his pride and loss (as it seems) to the seller's nose.

There are not only single one-time manipulative actions, but also entire prolonged manipulative games. I will give an example of a manipulative game from the practice of policemen and investigators. Now you have to imagine yourself delayed in the police station. Here, one of the effective ways to achieve from detained testimony (or money for freedom) is the game in the "good and evil policeman." At first, the investigator talks with the detainees, talking on elevated colors, he threatens and draws a gloomy paintings of your further stay in the walls of the law enforcement. After you are pretty frightened, the "kind" investigator interferes, who reproaches the incontinence of "evil", sympathizes the detainee, proposes to solve the case in good way. Aggressive and friendly communication styles alternate several times until the detainee matures. What is the manipulative meaning of such a game? In that you bring to the thought, it is better to take a smaller of evil, i.e. "Good" policeman and go to the union with him.

Such a manipulative game creates a feeling that it is possible to get rid of small blood, agreeing with a good and polite policeman, while again did not activate the evil and cruel. As a result, the detainee gives readings or bumps off. What is required of it. By the way, both of these roles can combine one policeman - the meaning of the game remains the same.

The benefit when manipulation may be not only material, but also psychological: increased attention meaningful people, acquiring higher authority and respect, etc.

For example, with sparkling jokes to other people, it is usually such a hidden meaning, hiding behind an external desire to simply hang and entertain comrades. A person leaving the jokes to others, as a rule, does not see another opportunity to conquer authority in the company and uses such a way rolling for itself. The fact that at the same time he hurts others reduces their authority, he is either not aware or neglected by this insignificant fact. Thus, jokes to other people are also manipulative.

Becoming the question. How to evaluate the manipulation phenomenon: with a plus sign or with a minus sign? Is this good or bad? Use it in life or eradicate? It suggests the answer. If I manipulate - well, if you manipulate me - bad. Joke. In fact, manipulation is neither good and not bad. In general, this phenomenon is neutral. In essence, manipulation is a tool that can be used for various purposes.

Depending on what hands it is. Just as the knife can serve as a tool for surgical operations and a murder tool. If you are faced with manipulation, then to evaluate a specific situation, I propose to rely on two criteria.

First. What is the motive and desired result from the author of manipulation? If this is not only the benefit of yourself, but also the desire of good to you, it deserves if not a positive assessment, then at least refuse. For example, parents often manipulate their children, by the truth and untrue, forcing them to go to bed on time, to have charging, go to school, etc. They do it not only for themselves, but also for the good of the good in the future, which is not yet able to appreciate this concern.

Second. It happens that the hidden motive of manipulation is not particularly hidden. And then the object of the application of this manipulation has a true, and not imposed choice. American Writer and Psychotherapist E. Bern leads such an example of a game of flirting: Cowboy: Would you like to see a stable? Girl: Ah, I love stables since childhood! Although we are talking It seems to be about the stables (and we would say about theater) both understand the inner meaning of the game. And the girl, choosing an excursion to the stable, is guessed about the content of this excursion. And since it has this understanding, and no one forced her to answer to flirt, it means that she consciously entered this game, and, therefore, there is nothing bad here.

If you look closely, we live in the world of manipulations, and you should not be afraid of them, but it is worthwhile to be well able to understand them and pay knowledge about them for yourself and other people. All this is also one of the time of the game called "Life" and this game can also be entertaining.

How can you neutralize the effect of manipulation, if your plans do not find "keep" on it?

First. Understand, see, realize the hidden motive of communication in your partner. This is possible if you are attentive, have psychological experience and trust your intuition. According to the microdvizations of the eyes, the minimum facial intonation, the voice intonations, gestures and low body movements, a psychologically competent person can guess the presence of falsehood in the actions and speech of man. Simply speaking, he dies or not. If you guess what, perhaps, not everything is clean, then the next step: understand what he really wants. To do this, put yourself in his place - so that you yourself do, how would you behave, what ideas would you try to implement? The fact is that we are all very similar (no matter how you want to believe in our own uniqueness) and what you think, most likely came up with him. "Scroll" possible options And insight can visit you. I will not say that it is easy to penetrate into the consciousness of another person, but life is not easy at all.

Second. If the manipulation assumes the presence of a hidden motive and this is its main weapon, then lighting with the neutralization of weapons will be the clarification of a hidden motive in your communication. Figuratively speaking, the "flashlight flashing" deprives the manipulation of hidden meaning. What makes it manipulation. For example, if a person in humans directs his humor on you, ridicules you or your values, and you guessed, in whose eyes he wants to go up, you can safely tell him: "I understand that you really want to seem witty in the eyes of Marina - we already Evaluated your humor, he is great, thank you.

When the meaning is open - there is no longer a pion, the game loses its continuation and meaning. However, if you guess the content of the manipulative game, which is conducted with you, it is not necessary to stop it right away. After all, in this case, you have trumps in your hands: the opponent does not know that you have already guessed about the hidden sense. This trump card you can use how hockey players use a numerical advantage.

Consider the real situation from real life. Surely you ever approached the street with a "gift" from the company. Very cheerful, starting with the words "Hello!", They solemnly declare that in honor of the 500th anniversary of their generous firm you get a free beautiful set in this bag, along with the bag itself. And give it to you! A few more seconds of optimism and charm and now you are starting to believe in this miracle. But it turns out that you finally entered into the rights of possession with all the rich contents of this sacrifice, a dayted trifle is needed. Pay just one thing from this wealth. Some miserable (compared with the contents) several hundred rubles. For those who did not guessed - then, of course, it turns out that the goods are much lower than this "pathetic" amount. But it will be later!

So, one of my already scientist's life comrade did the next trick. In the words "you get this as a gift" He took a bag, but did not stand, as it should be on the scenario, I breathe excitedly, but with the words "Thank you!" Bodro headed into the crowd on the road to the subway. After a couple of seconds, which they needed the Makhinator to come to themselves, to catch up with a happy owner of a gift from the company was already late. The most interesting thing is that it is not for anything - a gift, the rich firms have their fades and abandon the gift and even impolite ... Keyword Here - "hidden." When manipulation, the external meaning of words, appeal or actions relative to another person does not coincide with the meaning of the inner. The external meaning of words, as a rule, is innocent, which does not contain some kind of infringement of the needs of another person, but the inner sense carries the content that summarizes this person to the fact that the author of manipulation wants from him. It turns out that the person who manipulates makes what his partner needs to communicate, as if he had chosen it. In reality, it was gently suspended to this choice, and this choice is non-free and unconscious.

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