Life is full of emotions. One of them is anger, destructive and constructive, unbearable and, at the same time, simple and understandable. When does it appear in our lives? What is it for? What to do with it? How to live with her? This will be discussed in this article.

Anger is a basic human emotion that manifests itself with early childhood... Anger arises in a situation when there is an obstacle to the satisfaction of a person's needs.

For the first time, anger manifests itself in early age, when the baby wants the mother's breast, but she does not appear immediately, and what does the baby do? The kid screams, cries, twists his legs, waves his arms - he is angry. Children in their development experience aggressive emotions towards their parents. A child shows a lot of anger during periods of crisis: one year old and, especially, three years when there is a lot of willfulness in the behavior of the baby.

The three-year crisis is characterized by the following seven-star behavior:

1. Negativism;
2. Stubbornness;
3. Obstinacy;
4. Self-will;
5. Protest (riot);
6. Depreciation;
7. Despotism.

The child needs this in order to show his "I myself" and to build their boundaries in the family. There is especially a lot of aggressive energy during adolescence. It is simply necessary to emotionally separate from your parents, find your place in society, understand "who I am, who They are", have your own opinion and be able to defend it, show leadership, transform your space and define boundaries. And this certainly requires energy - the energy of anger.

Of course, parents need this energy to insist on reasonable rules and norms of behavior in society and the family, necessary for a child in adulthood.

Anger is a tremendous amount of energy. It is aimed at both destruction and creation, creativity, work, sports and study. Each purposeful, purposeful action is, in some way, an aggressive act. To make up your mind and create something new and destroy the old, you need energy - the energy of anger. Otherwise, everything will remain as it was and unchanged. Anger creates goals, helps to fight back, sort out situations, move forward, identify and protect your interests and boundaries.

It would seem such a creative emotion, but why is it so hard to live with it? How to withstand it? How do you express anger? And can be silent and control, or express and, possibly, offend a person? Let's try to figure it out.

If you try to hide anger, control it, not admit it in yourself, then anger turns into auto-aggression (anger towards yourself) or feels like an offense towards others, or even worse, again, towards yourself. And it also turns into guilt. And these are very poisonous feelings that destroy a person from the inside. They cause body illnesses, tension headaches, depression, relationship conflicts, communication difficulties, family and work difficulties.

Of course, it is customary in society to hide anger, to control its manifestations, to keep silent about the presence of aggressive feelings. Such a sweet kind-hearted man! Such people do not get angry for the following reasons: they cannot, I don’t know how, I don’t have the right, this is "not very beautiful". These attitudes are formed, as a rule, from family scenarios, from parental attitudes, from socio-cultural rules.

Such a person is difficult for others to understand. And it is difficult for him to defend his interests and boundaries, he often does not know how to refuse (he lends money, does work for others, helps everyone). “Let the other be good, so long as they don't get angry and I don't look angry and greedy!” Such a sacrificial position does not lead to a full-fledged relationship.

You become dependent on a person to whom you are afraid to show anger. You have to think about him, how not to offend him and make a lot of efforts so that anger does not destroy the relationship. You control it, hide it, if only close person I didn’t take offense, stayed close, didn’t leave and didn’t see your "bad side of personality". This is a dependent and non-adaptive position. Others either use the kindness and reliability of such people, or do not understand them, since they are silent and do not defend their opinion.

In relationships between people, even very close ones, disagreements occur and anger arises. It is better to note and accept in oneself, then it is possible to agree, soften disagreements, defend a position and maintain a relationship.

Ways to deal with anger:

1. Withstand;

2. To express.

It's hard to withstand anger when everything is boiling inside.

Here breathing exercises, meditation, yoga, dancing, as well as any activity aimed at creation: drawing, modeling, puzzles, constructors, mosaics, embroidery, knitting, etc. will help. Sometimes it helps and the situation is resolved over time. The person calms down and looks at the situation from a different angle, sometimes even with humor.

But no matter how you cannot withstand strong anger and anger, there comes a moment when you want to express these emotions. How can this be done?

Firstly- to recognize in yourself and understand that this is anger.

Secondly admit it to myself: "Now I'm angry, I'm terribly angry (a)."

Thirdly the energy of anger must be "set free." Here, depending on the situation and character of the person, the following methods are suitable: first talk about it. When talking, refer to your feelings and condition. Deal with the situation that is angry. In no case do not blame anyone, do not evaluate the personality of another person, do not shift the responsibility for your condition onto another.

You can put it this way: "The situation of misunderstanding causes a strong anger in me. Let's figure it out" or "Now I feel very angry, everything is boiling in me, we need to talk about it calmly and explain ourselves."

In constructive communication, the degree of anger decreases, and the released energy will be useful to direct in a positive direction.

Of course, there are situations when communication is not possible or does not work out for various reasons, people "do not hear" each other or do not want to listen. Then the aggressive energy can be responded in a different way. Here activities that are associated with the release of energy from the body are suitable: sports, boxing, hitting a pillow, chopping wood, digging the ground, breaking dishes, tearing paper, shouting anger, drawing it on paper and tearing, constructing and breaking, etc.

Let this energy come out, not stagnate. It destroys the body, causes disease and misunderstanding. And along the way, new resources will open up that are necessary for further happy family life, favorite work, creativity and health.

It is believed that the ability to create is a kind of super-skill. ideal person... Creativity is a truly amazing (and not the only) quality, but not of an ideal, but of a psychologically mature personality. Learn about the rest of Maturity, Positive Creative Therapy, and three enjoyable art therapy techniques.

What is creation

Creation is the highest of known to man forms of creative change of reality. Creative activity is always aimed at improving the world, making it more harmonious. It accompanies actions that bring goodness to people: material, practical, mental, spiritual, useful for expanding consciousness or developing good qualities. In a broad sense, creation is not so much a transformation as the comprehension of things; volitional, conscious and spiritual human activity.

Creation in literary speech has a pretentious or majestic connotation. Most often applied to intangible objects: soul, moral values, spiritual education. In dictionaries, the word "create" is described as an obsolete form of "create." But there are differences in these concepts. Creation does not just create - it is. It has a positive connotation of something constructive, useful, harmonious and leads to the emergence of something more valuable. And you can create problems or troubles.

Creativity as a personality trait- the ability to direct mental and creative energy to create something beautiful, majestic, useful. In everyday speech, the phrase "creative person" is often replaced by "creative person", and creativity and creativity are used as synonyms. Although there are differences in these concepts. - this is the power of feeling and inspiration, something spontaneous and chaotic; creation is the power of the mind, consciously aimed at moving towards the goal.

Creation cannot be comprehended without its dual pair - destruction. To create something new, you must first destroy something: spring destroys the snow cover, a tornado destroys the old landscape, making it possible to create something new. It is always easier to destroy, because destruction does not require mental costs. Therefore, each person makes his own choice: self-destruction (increase of evil) or self-creation (increase of good).

The ability to create as a sign of a mature personality

Creativity is one of the characteristics of a psychologically mature personality. Maturity comes when a person not only matures, but gains. Within the framework of the theory of psychoanalysis, the psychological maturity of the individual was considered as the ultimate goal of psychotherapy.

The term "mature personality" was introduced into psychological science by the Austrian psychologist Alfred Adler. In his works, the scientist proposed the concept of the creative "I" as the root cause of the human in a person, what makes him the creator of his life, gives meaning to existence. Later, questions of maturity were considered by the Russian professor of psychology N. Rybnikov, the Swiss philosopher K. Jung, and the American psychoanalyst E. Erickson.

Maturity itself is not an end point, but a state that, like a puzzle, is composed of the qualities:

1. Introspection... The ability to “know yourself” is to look at your life through the eyes of an outside observer, to adequately assess your strengths and weaknesses.
2. Building boundaries. Understanding what is acceptable or unacceptable in family, work, work, parent-child relationships.
3. Self-irony... The ability to laugh at oneself in absurd situations of life, but at the same time continue to value oneself.
4. Thanks... The ability to be grateful for what happened and what they could avoid. And not just to be, but to be able to express to people and circumstances.
5. Self-control... The ability to protect oneself from fear, guilt, bad habits - everything that prompts one to live with momentary emotions and desires.
6. Friendliness... Ability for warm, cordial social relationships. Ability to demonstrate sincere affection without jealousy or self-interest.
7. Independence... The ability to create a positive image of oneself, independent of the assessments of others.
8. Realism... Striving to achieve personally meaningful and realistic goals, without adjusting the facts to fit your fantasies or illusions.
9. Purposefulness... Delineation of long-term and short-term goals. Understanding how much time and effort is needed to achieve the goal.
10. Moral... Ability to perform and consider actions, harmonizing them with their moral principles.
11. Ability to build relationships... The ability to understand the feelings of another, empathize, support, show a sincere interest in your partner.
12. Flexibility... The ability to purposefully rebuild their behavior, orient themselves in communication with people, and maneuver in the changing conditions of reality.

The lists of the qualities of a mature personality were compiled by the founder of psychoanalysis Sigmund Freud and his contemporary, the developer of the theory of personality traits, Gordon Allport. The founder of humanistic psychology, Abraham Maslow, believed that no more than 1% of people could claim the title of a mature personality. One of the indicative characteristics he considered was the ability to be creative, which manifests itself in any business, even in everyday life.

Art therapy or how to start creating

The author of the bestselling book "Eat, Pray, Love" Elizabeth Gilbert compares creativity with the magical power available to everyone that can make life richer, more unusual, interesting. Psychologists advise to practice creativity therapy for everyone who wants to bring harmony to life, increase the ability to self-expression, and unleash creativity.

Since the inception of art therapy, it has developed several different directions. You can go through psychotherapy and just have fun through photography, music, composing collages, painting a mandala, working with fabrics, dough or clay. One of the most popular areas is isotherapy - treatment fine arts... It helps you get to your deepest feelings, relieve stress and simply distract yourself from everyday worries with the help of simple techniques.

Technique 1. Drawing in the dark

Most of internal stress comes from outside criticism. Drawing in complete darkness will help to weaken the power of the inner critic. Try first to create a drawing with a single color pencil, later you can move on to complex images. Focus on creating abstract lines, patterns, shapes. With the lights on, the drawing is likely to surprise you a lot.

Technique 2. Color your physical condition

Draw the outline of your body on a piece of paper. Close your eyes, imagine your body and how you feel. Paint the image inside the outline with watercolors as you feel it. Think about what these shades mean to you and why they appeared in these areas. This technique can be practiced on a large scale: take a roll of wallpaper, draw life-size outlines of your body on it, and paint on it.

Technique 3. Mandala of desires

Round is a symbol of eternity. By placing our desire inside, we create the conditions for its fulfillment. First you need to draw a base circle on paper - circle the plate or use a compass. Visualize desire. Start coloring. It can be a specific or fantasy pattern. In the process of drawing, you need to celebrate your insights and just have fun.

conclusions:

• Creation is at the same time creation, creation, construction of something harmoniously inspiring.
• Destruction is creation with a minus sign.
• Creativity - positive quality mature personality, necessary for creative self-realization.

Feelings constructive and destructive

Creation and destruction. Two equal forces. The two foundations of the world order on which the whole is based human life... As we ourselves are capable of creating and destroying, so our senses have this dual nature. Our passions, unbridled desires of the body and momentary whims of the soul, our greed, our anger, envy and jealousy can destroy both ourselves and the lives of those who, by an unfortunate accident, are near - our relatives, loved ones, or completely unfamiliar people. And vice versa - our love, our tenderness and our sympathy, our desire and willingness to give have an amazing ability to heal, change both us and those around us.

So, in the work of the same name by William Shakespeare, the commander Othello, a well-born Moor, convinced of the infidelity of his young wife, in a fit of anger destroys her. This terrible instant fire of his low desire to punish Desdemona at all costs, this outburst of wounded male pride and jealousy that possessed the hero, destroy not only the life of his innocent lover, but also the life of himself. As soon as the deception is revealed, Othello will repent of the perfect in horror and, being unable to bear the full weight of his own deed, will destroy himself. This example clearly illustrates for us a situation when feelings have the very destructive force, often beyond the control of a person and leading to dire consequences.

On the other hand, there are those feelings and emotions that can heal a person, change him for the better.

Sonechka Marmeladova's sincere and disinterested love for Rodion Raskolnikov can serve as an example confirming this idea. The entire novel by F.M. Dostoevsky is imbued with the emotional rushes of the protagonist, and only Sonechka, with her patience and forgiveness, manages to change Raskolnikov's view of her own theory and, albeit slowly and not immediately, but still morally heal him, resurrect him, as in one of the plots of the Gospel Jesus resurrects Lazarus.

We can also recall the feelings of Ilya Oblomov and Olga Ilyinskaya from the novel by Goncharov. Thanks to falling in love, the main character literally transforms before our eyes. From lazy and inactive Oblomov suddenly becomes a lively, active and cheerful person. This transformation may not last long, but it also shows us what sincere love is capable of.

Thus, we are again convinced that human feelings, depending on their nature, can both destroy and destroy, and heal and change people for the better. And it's only up to the person: he is free to choose which feelings to give free rein, and which ones to keep in a tight rein ...

(385 words)

Marina Pozdnyakova, Perm

Each person sooner or later begins to think about the meaning of life, about what contribution he makes to his life and the existence of the people around him. We all want to be useful, loved by loved ones, to receive recognition, to take place in this or that activity. The achievement of these goals is largely facilitated by the understanding of the need to develop and strengthen the creative principle in your life. Many people gradually come to take it as a basis.

If you turn to explanatory dictionary, then you can find out that the creator is the recreator, creating life according to his great desire to do it. However, the main idea here is not to act contrary to social guidelines, to live by your own rules, not agreeing with the opinion of the majority, but to direct all forces and energy to unleash your creative potential.

So what does it mean to create? The meaning of the word goes back to the construction of a life filled with a special meaning. In this article, we will try to answer the questions about what components the creation includes and what it is in the most general case.

Openness to new experiences

A person who is ready to accept the changing conditions of his own existence always strives for renewal. It doesn't matter what it will be - an acquired specialty, acquiring knowledge, studying any subjects. The main thing is that such a person is not afraid to take risks, does not feel guilty about spending money on himself. By creating life around him, a person becomes truly happy.

Why is it so important for us to embrace new experiences? The fact is that we live constantly learning. If what we have learned is pleasant, then, as many believe, we can be proud of our achievements. If this circumstance is not very well approved in society, then, most likely, the person will not accept the new experience, will begin to hide it and, as a result, will not take anything useful out of it.

Creation

What can compare in strength with the happiness experienced by the creator when he managed to complete the work? Many people have creative impulses, but only a few are actually ready to work on the development of their talent. A creator is, first of all, one who is not afraid to take risks. Fidelity to your ideals is the criterion that promotes talent and helps to manifest extraordinary abilities. If a person has a clear plan for the development and formation of himself as a wonderful author of books, paintings or musical creations, then he will achieve success much faster.

Charity

We couldn't live on this planet alone. A person is built in such a way that even with a favorable coincidence of circumstances, he still needs help, the participation of another. Even if a little support, a word spoken on time, a smile, a look - all this more than once helped to maintain faith in oneself, to perk up in difficult situations.

Many believe that charity is the lot of very rich people who can and should share with those who are much less fortunate. Meanwhile, true help is always born in the heart, that is, inside a person. Everyone can be useful to their neighbor. For this you need to have faith in yourself and an open heart.

Integrity

A creator is one who is in harmony with himself and the whole world, which means he has integrity. Such a person is aggravated, he will not allow himself to offend. It is impossible to manipulate him, he is so wise and self-sufficient that ill-wishers bypass him.

Integrity means the desire to live in harmony with the laws of the universe. A person with harmony is capable of giving and genuinely caring for others. She is completely devoid of selfishness, but has individual goals, ambitions that she wants. This is what it means to fully create. The meaning of the word is here seen as the ability to be oneself, without masks and false pretenses.

Love of life

A happy person is a generous person. He wants to share, he is overwhelmed from within with a feeling of abundance, and he himself rejoices at the same time. His face lights up when he communicates with other people, animals, nature, the whole world. Such a person spends a lot of time both in interaction with others and alone. He has no fear of being left alone. Spiritual practices, meditations - this is his strength, the center of personality, creative visualization.

One who truly loves life will never harm any creature. He mentally and practically (that is, in practice) makes certain attempts to maintain well-being throughout the world. This includes the protection of natural resources, specific assistance to people.

Thus, a creator is a person who recreates life, a happy, holistic, internally filled person, one who can renounce his own egoism at the right time and serve as true participation for the benefit of others.