- Dad, I want to go home ... - sounded plaintively from behind the scenes.

- Vova, let the child leave, huh? the blonde asked.

I remember that at the first meeting with her I was taken aback. Nina, Vladimir's wife, resembles a grilled chicken that has been overexposed in the oven - her skin has taken on a dark brown tint from frequent visits to the solarium. Nina dyes her hair the color of mayonnaise and curls it with a corkscrew. But maybe it's a wig? I have never seen Paramonova at least slightly disheveled, she always has a fresh, generously varnished hairdo. In addition, Nina has huge lips, they probably pumped a glass of gel into them, and also too round, prominent cheekbones, wide-open eyes, surrounded by eyelashes that are too long and thick to be natural, eyebrows are incredibly ideally shaped, and the forehead is suspiciously smooth for a man whose age is slowly creeping up to fifty. Paramonova's manicure is also amazing: seven-centimeter-long nails are covered with fiery red varnish with multi-colored sparkles. Add here a bright, I would say, catwalk makeup, a lot of jewelry, a leather miniskirt, an orange short sweater, white over the knee boots, and here is a portrait of Vladimir's wife, the mother of a gloomy ninth-grader Dmitry, in all its glory.

True, I’m being sarcastic in vain about clothes, she looks good on a slender figure of a lady. If not for the face and hair, Nina could easily be mistaken for a schoolgirl. She walks like a ballerina, with a perfectly straight back and an upturned chin, and her waist is probably fifty-five centimeters. I think she disappears for half a day in the fitness room, and this commands respect. For example, I can’t get there in any way, elementary laziness interferes.

“No, Dima will stay,” Vladimir objected to his wife. - He is a member of the family and is obliged to spend time with the closest people, this unites parents and the child.

Bogdan clapped his hands.

- Great, gentlemen. However, we digress, now to the point. Dasha, you are the main thing actor. Remember this?

“I have a role without a single word,” I objected. I stand silently with my arms outstretched.

- That's right, - said the director, - you are depicting a tree, but trees do not speak. But! Feel your importance: you are not some kind of oak tree ...

“Which makes me happy,” I muttered under my breath, sighing.

“And the magic palm tree of happiness,” continued Bogdan. - It grows in the center of the square and holds bags with wishes on the branches.

The director paused.

- Who said that?

“Let “well, I” appear to us,” Bogdan began to get angry slowly, “I want to look at a person with the name “well, I.”

- Dima, come here! - ordered the father.

- And what? – asked the guy, appearing in the line of sight. “Palm trees don’t have branches!”

“By the palm trees,” Nina sighed.

"Don't be picky," the teen pleaded grimly. - Say what you like, but palm trees have a bald trunk.

“It would be better for you to shave your head,” his mother hissed, “you walk around with disgusting tangles.

“I have dreadlocks,” the son protested.

- Shmedy, delirium, harm ... - Paramonova threw up her hands. - I'm afraid to sit next to you in the car, all the time it seems that cockroaches will run out of your hair.

“Nothing like that will happen,” Ilona decided to protect Dima, “geese live in garbage dumps, not in hair.

“I don’t understand the habits of the Prussians,” highlighting the letters “pr” in last word, said Nina, “but some boys just have crow's nests on their heads. Why are there insects, mice will soon breed in these deliriums!

Dima turned around and silently left.

- But really, why is Dasha a palm tree? Aida asked. - Do palm trees grow in the suburbs?

“Because there were no other trees in the store,” Tanya giggled. - Initially there was an apple tree, but it did not work out. Have you forgotten? We discussed everything at the meeting.

- Let's try again! Bogdan said. - Vasilyeva is standing in the center of the stage, Volodya approaches her with an energetic step and begins: “In our village there is ...”

I took the required pose, hung a smile on my face and tried to imagine that I was now with Manyunya in Paris in the Le Bon Marche store, in the shoe department ... Or not! We sit on Buchi Street in a cafe, eat cakes, treat the owner's dog with vanilla crackers ...

Why can't I ever say "no" to people? That is why I often do not do what I want. Right now, instead of peacefully lying on the sofa in the living room and reading a detective story, I depict a palm tree in a club in the village of Vilkino. However, I'd better tell you everything in order ...

Some time ago, a package was delivered to Lozhkino. But it was not addressed to Daria Vasilyeva, but to a certain Alevtina Valerievna Garibaldi, who lives in the village of Vilkino. The glorious JVI post, from which, shortly before the events described, I tried to win back the parcel sent to me from France by Masha, again distinguished itself. Not only did the employees mix up the address, the courier also left the parcel on the threshold of our house - he did not wait for the owners and sped away. And the housekeeper Anfisa decided: since the box is at the entrance, it means that it is ours. And opened it without looking at the name and address.

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If the chocolate bar says "Jolly Hippo", then this is not the name of the candy, but a warning ...

I cautiously moved my legs and immediately heard a hoarse baritone from the auditorium:

- Dashenka, you can’t catch the image of a tree in any way. Let's take a break for a couple of minutes, shall we?

I lowered my hands, and the director continued:

- And there is no phrase about the "Merry Hippo" in the text. Aida, where did you get it?

“Sorry, Bogdan,” the pretty fair-haired girl was embarrassed, “it accidentally escaped. I saw how Ilona was eating candy, and imperceptibly voiced her thought.

“Yeah,” Bogdan nodded, “understood. Well, now...

She always teleports everyone! cried a pretty blonde, floating out of the left wings. - And Rashidova generally hated me more than anyone else!

- Teleporting? Tanya, what do you think Ilona means? Surprised, I quietly asked the woman standing next to me.

Fedorova smiled.

- Do not be surprised, Dashenka. You see, the wife of Grigory Konstantinovich ... in general, I'm not sure that Ilona graduated from school when she got married. And here's the mystery: how did she manage to hook up a completely not stupid man from the Forbes list? Morozova has absolutely no education. But our Ilechka wants to seem smart, so she uses words that, in her opinion, should show that she is an erudite person. I think that now Vasilisa the Wise simply mixed up the verbs "treat" and "teleport".

“Sure,” I smiled. - Thank you, Tanechka. I recently visited you, and I saw Ilona for the first time today, and I was a little surprised by her manner of speaking. By the way, have you noticed how similar they are to Aida? If Rashidova slightly change her hair, lighten her hair a little, add a mole near her ear, then they will become twins.

“All blondes look alike,” Tanya said. - The eyes are blue, the skin is light ... If you look closely, then we are like sisters. But this, of course, is due to the figure, the ladies who have grown fat up to a hundred kilograms are not from our flock. Yes, Ilona was not at the rehearsals, she was leaving somewhere with her husband, Alevtina Valerievna read the role for her.

“I understand,” I nodded. - Bogdan kept saying that one of the performers was not there, but she was about to appear. Ilona is very pretty in appearance.

- Agree. Only sometimes it's hard to guess what she means when she makes another speech, - Fedorova laughed. - That's what you think, you ist das prostitution?

- Selling your own body or, more broadly, trading in some of your principles. I remember that in one of his articles Vladimir Lenin called Trotsky a political prostitute. But why are you asking?

- You passed the scientific communism at the institute, right? thought Tatyana. “Modern students are lucky, they don’t get stuffed in their heads. And I, sitting, say, at a lecture on anatomy, memorized the works of Marx-Engels-Lenin and could not understand why a future dentist should know them. Yesterday, Ilona and I found ourselves at the checkout in the supermarket nearby. We stand, and on the radio they play a song about eternal love. And then Ilya suddenly says: "Eternal love, even prostitution does not promise." I was confused, and Morozova was silent and added: “The law gives us different rights. But why is it not spelled out the right to love to the grave?

– Constitution! I guessed.

“Exactly,” the interlocutor chuckled.

Bogdan tapped his pencil on the table and turned in our direction.

- Please, let's not get distracted. Dasha, Tanya, we have a rehearsal! Here we are, go to drink tea, then discuss your pressing problems.

“Excuse me,” Fedorova and I said in unison.

“And I didn’t eat chocolate at all,” Ilona drawled resentfully, “only gingerbread. Grisha went to Tula and brought back from there. So delicious! Want to try? I have the whole package with me.

“We’ll definitely try it, darling,” said an elderly lady sitting in an armchair in the center of the stage, “we’ll certainly feast on it, but after the rehearsal is over. Now everyone needs to clearly understand who and what should do during the presentation. We want to win the competition, don't we? Vilkino should get the main prize. It will be fair.

Bogdan stood up and, pressing his hand to his heart, bowed.

- Thank you, Alevtina Valerievna. I think Vladimir will support me.

“Great speech,” said a flabby man named Paramonov. - We need to take the competition seriously, otherwise the victory will go to the village of Zyablikovo. Or Shapkino. But objectively Vilkino is better.

From the right wings came a sound resembling a groan.

- Is anyone sick? Alevtina Valerievna was alarmed.

“Dima, stop yawning,” Vladimir ordered angrily.

- Dad, I want to go home ... - sounded plaintively from behind the scenes.

- Vova, let the child leave, huh? the blonde asked.

I remember that at the first meeting with her I was taken aback. Nina, Vladimir's wife, resembles a grilled chicken that has been overexposed in the oven - her skin has taken on a dark brown tint from frequent visits to the solarium. Nina dyes her hair the color of mayonnaise and curls it with a corkscrew. But maybe it's a wig? I have never seen Paramonova at least slightly disheveled, she always has a fresh, generously varnished hairdo. In addition, Nina has huge lips, they probably pumped a glass of gel into them, and also too round, prominent cheekbones, wide-open eyes, surrounded by eyelashes that are too long and thick to be natural, eyebrows are incredibly ideally shaped, and the forehead is suspiciously smooth for a man whose age is slowly creeping up to fifty. Paramonova's manicure is also amazing: seven-centimeter-long nails are covered with fiery red varnish with multi-colored sparkles. Add here a bright, I would say, catwalk makeup, a lot of jewelry, a leather miniskirt, an orange short sweater, white over the knee boots, and here is a portrait of Vladimir's wife, the mother of a gloomy ninth-grader Dmitry, in all its glory.

True, I’m being sarcastic in vain about clothes, she looks good on a slender figure of a lady. If not for the face and hair, Nina could easily be mistaken for a schoolgirl. She walks like a ballerina, with a perfectly straight back and an upturned chin, and her waist is probably fifty-five centimeters. I think she disappears for half a day in the fitness room, and this commands respect. For example, I can’t get there in any way, elementary laziness interferes.

“No, Dima will stay,” Vladimir objected to his wife. - He is a member of the family and is obliged to spend time with the closest people, this unites parents and the child.

Bogdan clapped his hands.

- Great, gentlemen. However, we digress, now to the point. Dasha, you are the main character. Remember this?

“I have a role without a single word,” I objected. I stand silently with my arms outstretched.

- That's right, - said the director, - you are depicting a tree, but trees do not speak. But! Feel your importance: you are not some kind of oak tree ...

“Which makes me happy,” I muttered under my breath, sighing.

“And the magic palm tree of happiness,” continued Bogdan. - It grows in the center of the square and holds bags with wishes on the branches.

The director paused.

- Who said that?

“Let “well, I” appear to us,” Bogdan began to get angry slowly, “I want to look at a person with the name “well, I.”

- Dima, come here! - ordered the father.

- And what? – asked the guy, appearing in the line of sight. “Palm trees don’t have branches!”

“By the palm trees,” Nina sighed.

"Don't be picky," the teen pleaded grimly. - Say what you like, but palm trees have a bald trunk.

“It would be better for you to shave your head,” his mother hissed, “you walk around with disgusting tangles.

“I have dreadlocks,” the son protested.

- Shmedy, delirium, harm ... - Paramonova threw up her hands. - I'm afraid to sit next to you in the car, all the time it seems that cockroaches will run out of your hair.

Darya Dontsova

Miss Marple Private Dance

If the chocolate bar says "Jolly Hippo", then this is not the name of the candy, but a warning ...

I cautiously moved my legs and immediately heard a hoarse baritone from the auditorium:

- Dashenka, you can’t catch the image of a tree in any way. Let's take a break for a couple of minutes, shall we?

I lowered my hands, and the director continued:

- And there is no phrase about the "Merry Hippo" in the text. Aida, where did you get it?

“Sorry, Bogdan,” the pretty fair-haired girl was embarrassed, “it accidentally escaped. I saw how Ilona was eating candy, and imperceptibly voiced her thought.

“Yeah,” Bogdan nodded, “understood. Well, now...

She always teleports everyone! cried a pretty blonde, floating out of the left wings. - And Rashidova generally hated me more than anyone else!

- Teleporting? Tanya, what do you think Ilona means? Surprised, I quietly asked the woman standing next to me.

Fedorova smiled.

- Do not be surprised, Dashenka. You see, the wife of Grigory Konstantinovich ... in general, I'm not sure that Ilona graduated from school when she got married. And here's the mystery: how did she manage to hook up a completely not stupid man from the Forbes list? Morozova has absolutely no education. But our Ilechka wants to seem smart, so she uses words that, in her opinion, should show that she is an erudite person. I think that now Vasilisa the Wise simply mixed up the verbs "treat" and "teleport".

“Sure,” I smiled. - Thank you, Tanechka. I recently visited you, and I saw Ilona for the first time today, and I was a little surprised by her manner of speaking. By the way, have you noticed how similar they are to Aida? If Rashidova slightly change her hair, lighten her hair a little, add a mole near her ear, then they will become twins.

“All blondes look alike,” Tanya said. - The eyes are blue, the skin is light ... If you look closely, then we are like sisters. But this, of course, is due to the figure, the ladies who have grown fat up to a hundred kilograms are not from our flock. Yes, Ilona was not at the rehearsals, she was leaving somewhere with her husband, Alevtina Valerievna read the role for her.

“I understand,” I nodded. - Bogdan kept saying that one of the performers was not there, but she was about to appear. Ilona is very pretty in appearance.

- Agree. Only sometimes it's hard to guess what she means when she makes another speech, - Fedorova laughed. - That's what you think, you ist das prostitution?

- Selling your own body or, more broadly, trading in some of your principles. I remember that in one of his articles Vladimir Lenin called Trotsky a political prostitute. But why are you asking?

- You passed the scientific communism at the institute, right? thought Tatyana. “Modern students are lucky, they don’t get stuffed in their heads. And I, sitting, say, at a lecture on anatomy, memorized the works of Marx-Engels-Lenin and could not understand why a future dentist should know them. Yesterday, Ilona and I found ourselves at the checkout in the supermarket nearby. We stand, and on the radio they play a song about eternal love. And then Ilya suddenly says: "Eternal love, even prostitution does not promise." I was confused, and Morozova was silent and added: “The law gives us different rights. But why is it not spelled out the right to love to the grave?

– Constitution! I guessed.

“Exactly,” the interlocutor chuckled.

Bogdan tapped his pencil on the table and turned in our direction.

- Please, let's not get distracted. Dasha, Tanya, we have a rehearsal! Here we are, go to drink tea, then discuss your pressing problems.

“Excuse me,” Fedorova and I said in unison.

“And I didn’t eat chocolate at all,” Ilona drawled resentfully, “only gingerbread. Grisha went to Tula and brought back from there. So delicious! Want to try? I have the whole package with me.

“We’ll definitely try it, darling,” said an elderly lady sitting in an armchair in the center of the stage, “we’ll certainly feast on it, but after the rehearsal is over. Now everyone needs to clearly understand who and what should do during the presentation. We want to win the competition, don't we? Vilkino should get the main prize. It will be fair.

Bogdan stood up and, pressing his hand to his heart, bowed.

- Thank you, Alevtina Valerievna. I think Vladimir will support me.

From the right wings came a sound resembling a groan.

- Is anyone sick? Alevtina Valerievna was alarmed.

“Dima, stop yawning,” Vladimir ordered angrily.

- Dad, I want to go home ... - sounded plaintively from behind the scenes.

- Vova, let the child leave, huh? the blonde asked.

I remember that at the first meeting with her I was taken aback. Nina, Vladimir's wife, resembles a grilled chicken that has been overexposed in the oven - her skin has taken on a dark brown tint from frequent visits to the solarium. Nina dyes her hair the color of mayonnaise and curls it with a corkscrew. But maybe it's a wig? I have never seen Paramonova at least slightly disheveled, she always has a fresh, generously varnished hairdo. In addition, Nina has huge lips, they probably pumped a glass of gel into them, and also too round, prominent cheekbones, wide-open eyes, surrounded by eyelashes that are too long and thick to be natural, eyebrows are incredibly ideally shaped, and the forehead is suspiciously smooth for a man whose age is slowly creeping up to fifty. Paramonova's manicure is also amazing: seven-centimeter-long nails are covered with fiery red varnish with multi-colored sparkles. Add here a bright, I would say, catwalk makeup, a lot of jewelry, a leather miniskirt, an orange short sweater, white over the knee boots, and here is a portrait of Vladimir's wife, the mother of a gloomy ninth-grader Dmitry, in all its glory.

True, I’m being sarcastic in vain about clothes, she looks good on a slender figure of a lady. If not for the face and hair, Nina could easily be mistaken for a schoolgirl. She walks like a ballerina, with a perfectly straight back and an upturned chin, and her waist is probably fifty-five centimeters. I think she disappears for half a day in the fitness room, and this commands respect. For example, I can’t get there in any way, elementary laziness interferes.

“No, Dima will stay,” Vladimir objected to his wife. - He is a member of the family and is obliged to spend time with the closest people, this unites parents and the child.

Bogdan clapped his hands.

- Great, gentlemen. However, we digress, now to the point. Dasha, you are the main character. Remember this?

“I have a role without a single word,” I objected. I stand silently with my arms outstretched.

- That's right, - said the director, - you are depicting a tree, but trees do not speak. But! Feel your importance: you are not some kind of oak tree ...

“Which makes me happy,” I muttered under my breath, sighing.

“And the magic palm tree of happiness,” continued Bogdan. - It grows in the center of the square and holds bags with wishes on the branches.

The director paused.

- Who said that?

“Let “well, I” appear to us,” Bogdan began to get angry slowly, “I want to look at a person with the name “well, I.”

- Dima, come here! - ordered the father.

- And what? – asked the guy, appearing in the line of sight. “Palm trees don’t have branches!”

“By the palm trees,” Nina sighed.

"Don't be picky," the teen pleaded grimly. - Say what you like, but palm trees have a bald trunk.

“It would be better for you to shave your head,” his mother hissed, “you walk around with disgusting tangles.

“I have dreadlocks,” the son protested.

- Shmedy, delirium, harm ... - Paramonova threw up her hands. - I'm afraid to sit next to you in the car, all the time it seems that cockroaches will run out of your hair.

“Nothing like that will happen,” Ilona decided to protect Dima, “geese live in garbage dumps, not in hair.

“I don’t understand the habits of the Prussians,” Nina said, emphasizing the letters “pr” in the last word, “but some boys just have crow's nests on their heads. Why are there insects, mice will soon breed in these deliriums!

Dima turned around and silently left.

- But really, why is Dasha a palm tree? Aida asked. - Do palm trees grow in the suburbs?

“Because there were no other trees in the store,” Tanya giggled. - Initially there was an apple tree, but it did not work out. Have you forgotten? We discussed everything at the meeting.

- Let's try again! Bogdan said. - Vasilyeva is standing in the center of the stage, Volodya approaches her with an energetic step and begins: “In our village there is ...”

I took the required pose, hung a smile on my face and tried to imagine that I was now with Manyunya in Paris in the Le Bon Marche store, in the shoe department ... Or not! We sit on Buchi Street in a cafe, eat cakes, treat the owner's dog with vanilla crackers ...

Why can't I ever say "no" to people? That is why I often do not do what I want. Right now, instead of peacefully lying on the sofa in the living room and reading a detective story, I depict a palm tree in a club in the village of Vilkino. However, I'd better tell you everything in order ...

Some time ago, a package was delivered to Lozhkino. But it was not addressed to Daria Vasilyeva, but to a certain Alevtina Valerievna Garibaldi, who lives in the village of Vilkino. The glorious JVI post, from which, shortly before the events described, I tried to win back the parcel sent to me from France by Masha, again distinguished itself. Not only did the employees mix up the address, the courier also left the parcel on the threshold of our house - he did not wait for the owners and sped away. And the housekeeper Anfisa decided: since the box is at the entrance, it means that it is ours. And opened it without looking at the name and address.

Inside, two green bricks lay on beautiful pink paper. Yes, yes, I did not make a reservation, it was frog-colored bricks. The one who sent Alevtina Valerievna a strange gift did not bother to wash it, inside the box lay feathers and lumps, very similar to bird droppings.

- We need to call the post office, let them pick up the package, we don’t need someone else’s! Anfisa was outraged. - It would be nice if they sent something good, necessary, efficient. And in FIG us bricks?

- Alien, necessary and efficient, too, can not be appropriated, - I sighed. “The JVI post is awful, if we return the package, then poor Garibaldi will receive it in a year.

- Why does she need this rubbish? Anfisa asked. - Go to the construction market and take this beauty as much as you want. The main thing is to have money.

“Since the stones were sent to Garibaldi, it must be handed to her,” I muttered.

- A brick is not a stone, - the housekeeper pouted, - it is not mined from the mountain, but made at the factory.

“Fine,” I nodded and went to look on the map, where Vilkino, unknown to me, is located.

It turned out that the village is very close, five kilometers from our Lozhkin, I often go to that area to a small farm for milk and cottage cheese. That's just going for village delicacies, I turn off the highway to the right, and in Vilkino you have to go to the left.

Deciding not to hesitate (what if Garibaldi desperately needs bricks?), I got into the car on Sunday and rushed to the indicated address, hoping that the woman had not gone anywhere on the morning of the day off. And she was not mistaken: Alevtina Valerievna was there in the company of her friend. Both ladies turned out to be very pleasant, in appearance about sixty years old. Garibaldi's cottage looked like a gingerbread house, with sand-pink stucco on the outside, blue shutters carved with hearts on the windows, and a gnome-handled knocker on the door. And inside the mansion turned out to be a dollhouse - curtains, lace napkins, vases, pillows, blankets, cozy chairs and two charming affectionate cats in collars with bows are everywhere.

Seeing me, Garibaldi's girlfriend immediately said:

“Well, it’s time for me to run. And slipped out the door.

“Sorry to interrupt your conversation,” I said, embarrassed.

“No, no, not at all,” Alevtina Valeryevna smiled. - My friend, an outstanding scientist, Alisa Ivanovna Boykina, a very busy person, dropped by for half an hour and was about to leave. You didn't bother us. How can I help you?

I gave Garibaldi a cardboard box, she opened the lid and was amazed:

- Well well! Who came up with the idea to send such an original present? Hmm, the name of Yegor Fomich Piskunov, who lives in the Republic of New Tabasco, is indicated in the return address ... Dashenka, do you know where this country is located? What part of the world is she in?

Even more embarrassed, I shrugged.

- I have big problems with geography, I have never heard of Tabasco.

Garibaldi pulled out a clipboard from the magazine rack, which surprised me a lot. Agree, it is quite unexpected to see in the hands of a lady of advanced years not a ball with knitting needles, not a notebook with culinary recipes, but a modern gadget with which she manages even more deftly than you yourself.

“New Guinea,” muttered Garibaldi, “New Holland, New Caledonia… Ah, there you are!” New Tabasco is a fictional country in which there is ... Lord! I remembered! A strange patient came to see me… No, in appearance the man was completely normal, well-dressed, adequate in conversation, well-mannered. But, Dashenka, literally the following was written on his card: Yegor Fomich Piskunov, place of work - the king of the state of New Tabasco.

“Very unusual,” I laughed.

“But I got angry,” Alevtina Valeryevna continued. - I decided that the registry once again messed up. We have just crazy girls sitting there, in the sense that they are completely crazy, I don’t understand where Ilya Vladimirovich, the owner of the medical center, finds them. In general, I asked the patient again: “Where do you work?” And he calmly replied: "I reign in the country of New Tabasco." Believe me, over the long years of working as a doctor, I have seen and heard all sorts of nonsense, but it was the first time I encountered the sovereign emperor. I confess, I was taken aback. I know that a mentally unbalanced person can become aggressive if you try to argue with him, but we don’t have a “panic button” in our offices. I decided to put Piskunov into a tomograph and go for help. And he suddenly laughed: “Don't worry, doctor, I'm not crazy at all. Read on the Internet about my state.” Before I could say a word, the patient placed the booklet in front of me. It is not recommended to object to such a person, I had to immerse myself in the text. It turned out that Yegor Fomich was indeed an autocrat. At the very end of the eighties, he somehow bought a collective farm in the Moscow region - the whole whole, that is, land and buildings, not far, by the way, from Vilkin - and invented his own country. This Tabasco has its own flag, its own constitution, police, even an army. In general, a game in which a surprisingly large number of people are involved. It has nothing to do with sects. Piskunov does not take money from his subjects, he does not need them - Yegor Fomich is rich, owns a huge business, produces cosmetics. Reigning is his hobby, a way to relax.

"I've never heard of such an empire," I said in amazement.

Alevtina Valerievna pointed to the window.

“You have to drive through the forest, and after walking ten kilometers, you will see border posts and a sign: “Republic of New Tabasco.”

- What's with the bricks? - I did not understand.

Garibaldi looked at the box.

- During the examination, Piskunov did not find anything serious, the tomograph did not reveal any special deviations, only banal osteochondrosis. I sent Yegor Fomich to a specialized specialist, and added from myself: “Do sports regularly, go for a massage, adjust your diet. Osteochondrosis is unpleasant, but not fatal, with such a diagnosis one can live for decades. The main thing is not to grab different injection pills, not to wait for medicines to solve your problem, but to work with your own body. I have the same story with my back, I do fitness and so I kept my flexibility.” Yegor Fomich listened to me and answered: "I work for days, there is no time to exercise on the rug." In my opinion, this statement indicates laziness, because you can always carve out a couple of hours a week for health. Although, of course, it is easier to swallow a pill without thinking that in a couple of years the liver will declare war on you. Piskunov continued: “I know an old healer. He lives in a skete, heals any attack with stones that he takes in a unique place - where the Tunguska meteorite once fell. I’ll get together to him, ask for a couple of fragments for you and send them to you. ” And here you go...

“These are clearly bricks, not stones,” I muttered, remembering Anfisa’s remark. - The healer, it seems, is not a very honest person, I doubt that the celestial body that fell into the taiga consisted of bricks.

Garibaldi touched the gift.

– In my opinion, healers, psychics and others who join them are divided into two categories. Some people know very well that they are deceiving naive people, but they continue to do this because they want to get more money. Others sincerely believe that the dirt they have collected from some magical puddle is capable of resurrecting the dead. The first are scoundrels, the second are fools with noble intentions, but both groups are harmful. To be fair, I'm not ruling out a placebo effect. Some people, having sipped the charmed water, experience a temporary improvement. And I know cases of healing of hysterical paralysis after visiting sorcerers. But, as a rule, after a short period of remission, the disease returns to the person again, and time has already been lost. I am a doctor, doctor of science, professor, I have been working in various clinics for many years, now I am engaged in computer diagnostics at the Luch medical center, I have nothing to do with obscurantists, I believe in scientific and technological progress, by the way, I respect homeopathy and will never be treated bricks. But I want to be fair - on the part of Yegor Fomich it is very nice to remember me. I think that the grandfather-healer takes a lot for his “medicine”. Oh, Dashenka, something stuck to your skirt ...

- This is wool from pugs, - I was embarrassed, - it is difficult to clean off.

- I love cats and dogs! exclaimed the owner of the cottage.

The conversation smoothly flowed to the topic of pets, for about fifteen minutes Alevtina Valeryevna thoroughly questioned me. She was interested in everything: where I live, what I do, who my children are. And then she asked:

- I realized that you are not working now, you are not teaching foreign language?

“That's right,” I agreed, “now I am in the status of a loafer, although sometimes I am engaged in various projects that are interesting to me myself.

“Then you can help us out!” - the lady was delighted. – Vilkino is a wonderful village, small, but very beautiful, with its own traditions. We arrange festivals, fairs, competitions for the best gardener. V New Year we always decorate houses, our inhabitants never swear, they are friends with families.

I listened attentively to Garibaldi, waiting for her to get to the bottom of it, and soon realized what exactly she wanted ...

Vilkino was built and maintained by the Bingom concern. This association owns a large number of suburban housing cooperatives located close to each other. Creative people work in Binkom, they try in every possible way to diversify the life of the inhabitants of the villages of Zakharkino, Peskovo, Budanovo and others. The largest cottage community, Bincomville, has about a thousand houses, and there is a concert hall there. On October 15, it will host the Best of the First contest for the first time. One after another, amateur groups will rise on the stage, tell how beautiful their village is, why it should receive a large golden eagle, the symbol of the Binkom concern, and for what reason their village is worthy of a photo shoot in a fashionable glamorous magazine.

In every village, village, town there will always be initiative people who are happy to take part in such competitions. A team of like-minded people gathered in Wilkin under the leadership of the energetic Garibaldi. Since during the competition it is necessary not only to beautifully paint the place where you live, but also to demonstrate some talents, the enthusiasts became thoughtful. Alevtina Valerievna, who consults once a week in the evenings at the Bincomville polyclinic, decided to spy. The lady carefully questioned the patients and found out: a master of sports in rhythmic gymnastics lives in Zakharkino, she will show a sketch against the background of the local flag. There are many musicians in Peskov, so an orchestra is hastily assembled there and a local anthem is being invented, and in Budanov they are preparing a number with trained animals.

Having carefully studied the plans of the enemy, Garibaldi and the company decided to put on a fairy tale performance. The script was written by one of the inhabitants of the village of Vilkino, the not very famous playwright Bogdan Buzykin, and he also took up the production. The artists have also turned up. Dentist Tatyana Fedorova, the owner of a soprano, will play the role of a magic flute. Fashion designer Svetlana Pescherina will turn into a titmouse. The compiler of horoscopes, astrologer Vladimir Paramonov, will be a kind storyteller, his wife Nina, a psychologist who advises couples in crisis, will portray a cheerful thrush. Aida Rashidova, secretary of the Bumtrans company, will dance the part of the dragonfly. Alevtina Valerievna will read the text from the author. Ilona, ​​the housewife, the wife of Grigory Konstantinovich Morozov, will portray the goddess of the village.

Generally speaking, the last role in original version there was no script, but the production required money to buy costumes, props, order scenery ... Alevtina Valeryevna compiled a list of donations, and Vladimir went home with him.

- I agree to become the main sponsor of the play if my wife Ilona gets a central role.

- That's great, we just do not have a performer for the role of the goddess! - the astrologer was not at a loss and rushed to Bogdan with good news.

Having learned that Morozov was ready to generously invest considerable funds in the production, the director, however, was not particularly inspired. On the contrary, Buzykin was capricious:

“We have a fabulous idea of ​​a magical land. There are no goddesses in the script.

- So add, write a role, - demanded Paramonov.

“The play is ready, I don’t want to distort it for the sake of a man who decided to glorify his wife at the expense of my talent,” Bogdan rested.

“Either Ilona is the main character, or your work will remain on the table,” the compiler of horoscopes explained. - If Grigory does not give money, you can forget about the performance.

“Real art always destroys greed and nepotism,” Buzykin pouted, “a true philanthropist supports talent disinterestedly, without setting stupid conditions for the creators.

- It's up to you, - Paramonov spread his hands.

Bogdan sculpted a text for Ilona overnight, Morozov gave Buzykin the required amount, but a new obstacle arose. There was no actress who would embody the image of the tree of happiness. However, there were difficulties with this tree from the very beginning. In the original version of the script, it was said that a magical birch grows in the center of the village of Vilkino. All residents and guests (the tree is not harmful, does not ask people for registration) can hang bags with requests written on pieces of paper on its branches, and they will certainly be fulfilled. But suddenly a dragonfly appears and steals people's messages...

I will not retell the plot further, it is banal, the point is different. The terms of the competition clearly state: everything that the villages brag about must certainly exist in reality - gardens, vegetable gardens, lawns, clearings, sculptures, paintings. So, in Wilkin you need to plant a tree and decorate it with colorful bags. Here are just a large part of its inhabitants reared up and said:

“We don’t need a stupid tree, we don’t want to admire every day the “spreading cranberries” erected on the main square.

Alevtina Valerievna tried to explain that without a birch, the Wilkins could not see the main prize: a golden eagle and a large article with photographs in a glamorous magazine. But the people said:

- Well, it is not necessary.

After much debate, a consensus was reached. For the sake of the competition, they will buy an artificial tree. It will stand in the center of the village until the fifteenth of October, and on the sixteenth, immediately after the end of the competition, it will be removed. After all, not a word is said in the conditions that everything beautiful that the contestants are proud of should be preserved for many years.

Garibaldi drove to the shops, but there were no fake birches, everywhere they traded exclusively in palm trees. The PhD is not used to giving up. Faced with difficulties, she acquired two tropical plants and declared to the slightly discouraged artists with the director:

- What difference does it make what we grow? We will hang the bags on the trunk. We will put one beauty on the street, the other on the stage.

- Not! - Buzykin was indignant. - I'm totally against it! I agreed to write the role of the goddess, I don’t even argue because of replacing the birch with another tree, but I won’t give a plastic nightmare in the center of the stage. If only ... Yes, then let the woman represent the palm tree.

- Well, just do not boil, - agreed Garibaldi, - your remark is correct.

Alevtina Valerievna had no doubt that she would easily find a lady who would agree to take part in the performance. But no! There were no people in Vilkin who wanted to portray a tree in the performance, the performance was in danger of being disrupted. And then Garibaldi met me...

- Dashenka, you will make a beautiful date palm! she exclaimed.

“I’m afraid I can’t handle it,” I freaked out.

I quieted down. No, there are no big or small children in Lozhkino. My whole family, including dogs, moved to Paris, and my future husband, Professor Felix Manevin, is now traveling around the United States, lecturing at various universities. His mother Gloria, whom everyone calls Lori, grandmother Zoya Ignatievna, uncle Igor and two pugs, Rosa and Kitty, temporarily live in my house. Why did a cheerful company settle with me? Excuse me, I don’t really want to indulge in explanations, I can only say that of the above guests, I like pugs and Gloria the most. Thank God, Zoya Ignatievna and Lori are working, and Igor, the brother of my future mother-in-law, is once again trying to promote a new business and also does not sit day or day in Lozhkino. But in the evenings everyone gathers in the living room, and, I confess, I'm already tired of playing the role of a hospitable hostess.

- Rehearsals begin at seven in the evening, we work until ten, - Alevtina Valeryevna continued in the meantime, - you will have time to redo all the household chores. Well, don’t let your roots in the TV, it’s better to do something interesting ...

- That's great! - it broke out of me. - You can not have dinner with Zoya Ignatievna - when I return, she will already go to bed.

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