Always do your job the best way. Those who do everything carefully, check the details and do not shy away from duties command respect. And here it is not the length of service and professionalism that is important, but diligence and responsibility. In any team, they appreciate those who can do everything with high quality, on time. And this does not require much effort, it is only important to always understand what all this is for and what you want to get as a result.

Learn to accept complaints and criticism of your work. Perfect people do not exist, which means that tasks are not completed 100%. Very often there will be comments about the performance of tasks, and this does not apply to you, does not hurt you as a person, but only helps to improve. The ability to admit mistakes is a rare quality that characterizes a professional. And if you also correct them, then the effectiveness will increase, and this will definitely cause respect.

To be respected, always keep your promises. If you have taken up some business, do not quit it, do not refuse at the last moment. Know how to correctly calculate your time. Don't say you can help if you really can't. Also, do not let a person down without warning him that you will not be able to fulfill his plan. Circumstances may vary, call ahead if things don't add up.

Don't talk bad about other people, don't criticize them behind their backs, be honest. Backbiting, comparison and ridicule do not characterize a person from the good side. Try not to start such conversations yourself, and not to participate if others begin to do so. The less negativity you radiate, the better those around you perceive. Respect other people. If someone treats you disrespectfully, think about who you behaved the same way with? The world usually reflects what we ourselves contribute to it.

Respect is caused by a person who knows how to behave culturally in different situations, for example, during a dinner in a restaurant or a party at a disco. It is pleasant to communicate with a person who can keep up the conversation, has an idea about different areas life. pay attention appearance, etiquette, the ability to speak. All these qualities will help earn respect, make you a very attractive person in the eyes of others.

Self respect

Never condemn yourself in front of other people. No need to make excuses and belittle your dignity. How can you respect a person if he does not treat himself with respect? Of course, you don’t need to go to extremes, don’t overpraise yourself, but don’t hide your strengths either. Treat yourself adequately, with a share of criticism, but do not speak out loud about what you are changing in yourself.

You may feel like the other kids at school don't respect you at all, but you can change their mind. Children can be cruel to each other, but they are also able to recognize that a person is doing the right thing. The best way to earn recognition from your peers is to treat everyone with respect and kindness. You should also present yourself as an open, reliable and mature person. Be true to yourself and demonstrate skill and wit.

Steps

Part 1

Respect everyone at school. Every individual deserves respect, and The best way to achieve it is to show such an attitude towards other people. Respectfully address everyone in the school, including elementary students, high school students, friends, strangers, and teachers. Don't gossip about your peers, make fun of them, or tease them.

• Respect the personal property of others. Never take other people's things without permission, and if someone has entrusted you with a certain thing, be sure to return it in the condition in which you received it.

1. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and others. If you see someone being bullied, whether it's a friend or a stranger, step up and stand up for that person. Similarly, when you yourself are the target of attack, be brave and defend yourself. In both cases, you will earn the respect of your peers. The worst thing you can do is stand by and take no action when someone is being bullied.

   • You can, for example, say to a bully: "Hey, buddy! This is not cool at all, you should not talk to a girl like that."

2. Show your maturity. It's hard to be strong-willed in a difficult situation, but your peers will certainly respect you for it. If someone attacks or pushes you, act like a grown-up and get the situation right. Don't be afraid to talk to a teacher or counselor if you feel you don't have the authority to do the right thing in a given situation.

   • For example, if a classmate insults you, laugh or just walk away. Don't stoop to his level, don't insult him in return, much less start a fight.

3. Don't do bad things. Think about how others will react to your actions and how you will appear to others. Don't tell stupid jokes, gossip or spread rumours. Avoid arguments with peers and never resort to physical confrontation.

   Show others that you are like them. It will be difficult for you to earn the respect of your comrades and peers if you are an unsociable person. Try to find something in common with your peers, such as strong organizational skills, basketball talent, or a love of science fiction.

   • Take small steps to connect with others, like complimenting a classmate's shirt if you see your favorite band's logo on it.
   • Another way to bond with your peers is to show empathy. For example, if a classmate is upset about a bad grade, think about how you would feel in that situation. Say something like, "I know how frustrating it is to get a bad grade, especially if you've tried really hard. This happened to me earlier this year in art class. Luckily, there's still time to improve your overall grade, so don't let it will upset you a lot."

4. Learn eloquence . Strong communication skills will help you earn the respect of your classmates. If you find it difficult to express your point of view, try some exercises to help you develop your skills. For example, after reading an article in a newspaper or magazine, summarize the information received. This will help you strip away the superfluous and highlight the main points at the same time.

If for women the concept of "respect" lies in the emotional sphere, then for men it has a more practical meaning.

My wife doesn't respect me! I have lost respect for my husband! In our relationship, respect for each other has disappeared ...- the family psychologist hears such complaints every day.

If you ask any person what they would like from a relationship with other people, I am sure that most often you will hear the word "respect".

What is respect and why is it

The need for respect for most people is among the top priorities. Regardless of the nature of the relationship, age and gender, we are very sensitive in everything that concerns respect.

Why? What gives us respect?

To answer this question, let's try to define respect. It is quite difficult to give a simple and understandable definition right off the bat, so let's try to construct this definition.

1. Respect is the attitude of one person(groups of people) to another person(group of people)

2. This relationship is based on mutual recognition of the merits of the personality of each of these people.(groups of people).

3. Recognition of the priority of their safety and non-harm: physical, psychological and moral.

4. Recognition of their fundamental rights to freedom, self-expression, religion, etc.

As can be seen from our definition, Respect is a whole complex of concepts that affects, oddly enough, our instinct for self-preservation!

Now it becomes clear why in personal relationships the problem of loss / restoration of respect becomes one of the central ones.

In order to understand what gives us respect, let's look at the diagram:

As can be seen from the diagram for men (highlighted in blue) and for women (highlighted in red), the priority qualities in the concept of "respect" are different things.

If for women the concept of "respect" lies in the emotional sphere, then for men it has a more practical meaning. Understanding these differences becomes especially important when we try to analyze what behaviors and actions inevitably lead to the loss of respect from him or her.

Before talking about the reasons for the disappearance of respect in relationships, let's think about how this concept is formed in a person in principle.

In order for a person to be able to respect others, he must have an appropriate upbringing based on mutual respect for men and women, children for parents, parents for children, as well as for other people. And one more important addition is this man must respect himself!

There is a very close relationship between self-respect and respect for others. Surely many people know the axiom that it is impossible to gain respect from others without respecting yourself. It is believed that a person's self-esteem is divided into two components:

emotional- how I feel about myself in terms of "good and evil", my assessment of myself as a "good" or "bad" person, and

rational- an indicator of my competence, professionalism, success. Note that both components that form self-esteem in men and women are different.

Consider the figure:

From the figure it becomes clear that we call respectful such an attitude towards us that strengthens or, at least, maintains our self-esteem.

Accordingly, "unfriendly" behavior that calls into question my competence or my self-esteem, I will regard as disrespectful. In relations between a man and a woman, respect is closely related to sex-role behavior, more precisely, with the expectation of a certain behavior.

Let's look at a simple example.

A man and a woman are driving in a car. Stopped.

The man got out of the car, opened the door on the woman's side and helped her out of the car.

The man showed respect to the lady (he helped to get out of the car), the woman showed respect to the man, waiting for him to come up to help out, thanked him, thereby showing that she was confident in his good manners.

Respect breeds respect.

Unfortunately, manifestations of disrespect begin with "little things", the most typical of them are: lack of elementary gratitude at the level of thanks", inattention, failure to fulfill one's promises, raising one's voice.

Of course, some will respond to this, and some will not. I'm sure you know the saying that "little lies breed big mistrust"? The same can be said for respect. small acts of disrespect grow into big problems over time.

Signs of chronic disrespect in men and women are shown in the following figure:

It is important to note that respect is lost not only when such behavior is manifested directly to this person but also to his relatives, friends or colleagues.

My husband does not respect my mother! My wife does not respect my friends!

Periodically, at the reception, I have to hear how this or that client speaks about the loss of respect for his wife / husband due to her / his disrespectful attitude towards relatives or friends.

Indeed, we often associate ourselves with people close to us and tend to take on our own account what is not always directed directly at us.

Why is this happening?

Belonging to a group (and family, friends, colleagues - this is a group) gives us an additional sense of security and comfort, so the manifestation of disrespect for this "our" group automatically extends to us. In disconnected families, where there are no close emotional ties, this does not happen.

There are a number of behaviors that almost always cause a long-term(if not final) loss of respect.

They are well known, they are: betrayal (treason), humiliation, insult, lies, violence.

Regardless of gender, a person who encounters such manifestations on the part of a partner instantly loses respect for him. Restoring respect after such acts is unusually difficult. This is due to the fact that each of these acts deeply hurts the self-esteem of the injured person, hurts him. Pain and respect are incompatible.

A feature of respect is that it is much more difficult to earn it than to lose it. In this sense, respect as a concept is close to trust.

What to do if you feel a loss of respect for yourself from your loved ones?

Here is a simple step-by-step instruction which can help regain lost respect.

1. Look at yourself.

Analyze your behavior as "possibly wrong" in relation to the person. Maybe you violated his "boundaries", doubted his value, or simply offended ...

Not everyone is able to openly and immediately declare a wrong attitude towards themselves. Unspoken hurts don't go anywhere.

Having admitted the wrongness of your behavior, do not rush to immediately ask for forgiveness, but rather try to understand why (?) you did this.

Without understanding the motives of your behavior, you run the risk of repeating it in the future. The next step in your analysis will be to find another way to act that will not be perceived by your partner as disrespectful.

2. Start a dialogue.

Tell your partner how important his respectful attitude is to you and how you feel when such an attitude is not. Don't make excuses or shift the blame from yourself to him.

Admit your mistakes by simply listing them. Recognize the right of a person to be offended by you and change their attitude towards you.

3. Ask for forgiveness.

It's forgiveness, not apologies.

Not many people know that there are big differences between these two terms.

Apology is a more formal, secular term. Its essence boils down to asking to withdraw the apologetic from the "state of guilt". Forgiveness is a more personal term, not to say intimate - its essence is a request to accept repentance.

4. Take action.

Whether you've been forgiven or not, your awareness of your mistakes must be transformed into a new attitude and actions.

Remember that you first need to regain your respect for yourself and you are on the right track. published If you have any questions on this topic, ask them to specialists and readers of our project

P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness - together we change the world! © econet

Throughout his life, a person interacts with society in one way or another and builds relationships with people around him. In childhood, friendship, as a rule, is born on the basis of mutual interests and hobbies, however, growing up, we begin to evaluate the people around us by their actions, and they, in turn, evaluate us according to the same principle.

How to earn the respect of others? Every person wants to be respected, and will never knowingly commit acts that spoil his reputation. But, due to various complexes and internal uncertainty, it happens that a person does not know how to “apply” himself correctly, because of which people do not take his words and actions seriously. This creates a lot of difficulties, especially when it comes to relationships in the team. Psychologists working in the field of interpersonal relations have been able to identify several main factors that affect how we are perceived by the people around us.

Do you want to gain respect for yourself and increase your authority in the eyes of the team? Then you need to familiarize yourself with the main tips of the world's leading psychologists and try to immediately start using them in your life.

1. Take up as much free space as possible

An insecure person subconsciously wants to hide, hide and not interfere with others. V real life this manifests itself in the habit of sitting on the edge of a chair or armchair, as well as staying close to the wall or front door. And even if the people around you do not know the methods of deep psychological analysis, on a subconscious level, they perceive this habit as an inability to defend their positions. Therefore, when communicating with colleagues or superiors, psychologists recommend sitting on the entire surface of the chair, while keeping your back straight. If you are talking while standing, try to take a position in the center of the room, opposite the interlocutor.

2. Speak slowly but clearly

Many people, due to their emotionality, like to chatter, proving their point of view to the opponent. Most often, this habit appears in early childhood when a child tries to get the attention of busy parents by quickly telling them about exciting events. However, if you are worried about how to gain respect in a team, you need to learn how to convey your idea slowly and clearly, otherwise the interlocutor simply will not be able to fully assimilate your information. To avoid excessive emotionality in your conversation, psychologists recommend always paying attention to breathing. During a conversation, breathing should be even and calm.

3. Don't smile during serious conversations

A sincere smile and a good-natured look are perhaps the most important components for harmonious communication in informal setting. However, if at the moment you are informing subordinates about new tasks or trying to convey an important idea to the interlocutor, conduct a dialogue without a smile, otherwise your opponents will not be able to appreciate the importance and seriousness of your speech. But, at the same time, in order to gain respect and good human relations, you do not need to constantly play the role of the “snow queen”. Finish your monologue with a good-natured smile and an unobtrusive joke that will relieve your interlocutors of unnecessary tension.

4. Help without getting emotional

Sooner or later, each person may find himself in a difficult situation when he simply needs third-party physical, moral or material assistance. As a rule, the desire to help is almost always accompanied by a great emotional message. Together with help, we are trying to prove to a person why it happened one way or another, to open his eyes to his mistakes and tell about own experience. But most often, when in trouble, a person needs only concrete help, whether it be monetary or moral support. Therefore, if you can help a person with a deed, help, but do it without unnecessary emotionality, which will bring negative colors to your good deed.

5. Less gestures - more calmness

How to make yourself respected - perhaps this question is most of all interested in leaders and people whose work is connected with public meetings and speeches. According to psychologists, excessive gestures and unnecessary body movements distract listeners from the main idea that you are trying to convey, and, moreover, betray your doubts and insecurities. During interviews, presentations and reports, try to gesture as little as possible and be sure to get rid of the habit of fiddling with a ring or pen in your hands, straightening clothes and hair.

6. Watch your posture and hands

To gain the respect of others, it is enough to learn one simple psychological trick: never slouch or shrug your shoulders, because. on a subconscious level, this is regarded by others as a sign of weakness and insecurity. In addition, during a serious conversation, you do not need to cross your legs and arms, since these gestures are regarded as a desire to quickly end the conversation and hide.

7. React to the words of the interlocutor

Quite often, having lost the thread of the conversation with the interlocutor, we plunge into our own thoughts, listening to him with half an ear. However, this carelessness can be regarded by a colleague or boss as a sign of disrespect and neglect. Therefore, when conducting a dialogue, even if it turns into a monologue of your opponent, try from time to time to respond to his words with a nod or a smile. But at the same time, keep in mind that this reaction should be appropriate.

8. Maintain an area of ​​personal space

Human psychology is designed in such a way that for a comfortable state of health, he must always be in the zone of personal space. The boundaries of this zone are determined by the degree of proximity of people. Naturally, if relatives or close people are nearby, this does not cause discomfort. However, if the zone of personal space is violated by unfamiliar people or colleagues, most likely, subconsciously this fact will cause anxiety and aggression in a person in relation to the violator. So if you care about gaining respect at work, don't get any closer than an arm's length to your co-workers and bosses.

9. Make eye contact

A person will not be able to believe the words of his interlocutor if at that moment he does not see his gaze. However, at the same time, the gaze is subconsciously regarded as a challenge or threat. It is best to alternate between direct eye contact and unobtrusive looking away during a conversation. However, at the moment of pronunciation of the most important informative points, try to keep the person in direct eye contact.

10. Be sincere

In addition, there is another rule, thanks to which you will surely achieve the location and respect of others. And that rule is sincerity. Try to express your real thoughts and intentions in any, even the most controversial situations.

No one is immune from negative attitudes at work. Regardless of financial status, age, gender or education, an employee may be subjected to psychological harassment by his colleagues. What is the right way to behave in such a situation? Going with the flow in this case is probably the worst option. Prolonged exposure to constant stress will take away all your strength and harm your health.

The manifestation of disrespectful attitude at work can be demonstrated by both colleagues and management. As a rule, newcomers who have only recently settled down are most often subjected to psychological persecution. "Experienced" employees see them as competitors. Therefore, trolling of newcomers is very common in many companies. “Old” employees can also become the object of ridicule and unpleasant attitude. For example, if the authorities began to praise them often, thereby causing envy among other employees.

The reasons for disrespecting colleagues are frequent complaints to superiors, denunciations, boasting, helpfulness to management, and much more. It happens that a smart and erudite worker is mistaken for an upstart who wants to seem better than he is. Therefore, if you have high level intelligence, try not to demonstrate it much in front of colleagues. Demonstrate your abilities in the performance of work duties, this will help you earn the respect of management. Sometimes a person is not loved for straightforwardness and honesty. In teams where gossip flourishes, it will be difficult for such a person to take root. If you oppose the discussions of other employees, then the next gossip will be about your person. If you do not want to participate in such intrigues, leave such a team.

Methods of psychological bullying:

1. Undeserved accusations. For example, you and a colleague were entrusted with an important task. A colleague made mistakes and said that you did it.
2. Demonstrative oblique glances in your direction.
3. All kinds of humiliation. For example, at a general meeting you present your project, and your colleagues say that the ideas are bad and criticize you in every possible way.
4. Constantly changing rules and tasks to force you to redo the work done.
5. The management specifically does not notice your achievements and positive results of work. No matter how hard you try, it will not affect your promotion in any way.
6. Constant criticism of your work, which periodically turns into personal qualities.
7. Rumors or gossip are spread about you.

How to deal with negative attitudes towards yourself?

1. Try to be a smiling and friendly person. Be kind to all colleagues. A positive attitude will keep you safe.
2. Don't talk too much about your personal life. Don't listen to or spread gossip.
3. Try to act and look like everyone else. Try not to stand out too much from the background of others, but you should not lose your face either.
4. Do not succumb to the provocations of offenders. Be respectful and don't let yourself be bullied. If you are rude, do not respond in kind. Say in a businesslike way that you will not tolerate such an attitude towards yourself. If you are entrusted with something that is not part of your duties, be able to firmly and kindly refuse.
5. Follow the traditions that have developed in the team.
6. If you are friends with management, do not tell the whole office about it. At work, observe subordination, and devote free time to friendship.
7. Do your job correctly and efficiently. So you save ill-wishers from the opportunity to use your mistakes against you.
8. If you are asked for help, do not refuse. Help your colleagues in any way you can. But be careful not to take advantage of your kindness.

No one is protected from the manifestation of negativity in their direction, especially for beginners. Therefore, it is important to position yourself correctly from the first days of work. Be polite and open, do not try to play roles that are unusual for you. Help colleagues and do your job with great responsibility. Always treat yourself and others with respect.