Dispassion, self-control, composure, restraint, phlegm, composure, presence of mind, epic calm, Olympian calm, endurance, calmness, phlegm, impassivity, restraint, phlegmatism, ... ... Synonym dictionary
composure- the ability of a person to carry out activities in disorganizing situations that affect the emotional sphere (see emotions). In S., conscious will manifests itself ... Great Psychological Encyclopedia
SELF-CONTROL, self-control, pl. no, cf. The ability to control oneself, restrain oneself, endurance. Save, lose self-control. Dictionary Ushakov. D.N. Ushakov. 1935 1940 ... Explanatory Dictionary of Ushakov
- (self ownership) A person's claims to control over his own personality, relating, as a rule, not only to his body (and, possibly, to the embryo inside it - see: right to life - the right to life), but also to work , abilities and ... ... Political science. Dictionary.
One of the cardinal virtues; the ability to shape one's own life in the direction of human perfection with the help of a reasonably moral will, regardless of natural impulses and affects. It manifests itself in two ways. forms - ... ... Philosophical Encyclopedia
English self control/possession; German Selbstbeherrschung. Indicator of emotional and social. the maturity of the individual, the ability of the individual to consciously volitional organization of mental processes and the implementation of activities in critical situations. Antinazi.… … Encyclopedia of Sociology
The ability of a person to carry out activities in disorganizing situations that affect the emotional sphere. Consciously volitional organization is manifested in S. mental processes governing this activity. C. an indicator of emotional and ... ... Emergencies Dictionary
composure- SELF-CONTROL, i, cf. The ability to control oneself; Sin .: endurance, composure, restraint. The widower, a man endowed with exceptional self-control, did not sob and did not rush (Nab.) ... Explanatory dictionary of Russian nouns
composure- immeasurable self-control diabolical self-control exceptional self-control colossal self-control incredible self-control amazing self-control amazing self-control rare self-control amazing… … Dictionary of Russian Idioms
Books
- Finding a Way Out: How to Maintain Your Composure and Get Out of a Deadlock, J. Colriser, Our whole life is riddled with conflicts. They are usually avoided, but George Colrieser - a specialist in management psychology, a consultant and a former negotiator - believes that conflict ... Category: Practical psychology. Self-development Publisher: Alpina Publisher,
- Find the way out. How to maintain composure and get out of an impasse, George Colrieser, Our whole life is riddled with conflicts. They are usually avoided, but George Colriser - a specialist in management psychology, a consultant and a former negotiator - believes that from conflict ... Category:
Self-mastery is the ability to control momentary impulses and reactions. Another name for this quality is self-discipline. This type of behavior is not as restrictive in a negative sense as it might seem at first. When used wisely, self-control becomes one of the most important tools for success and personal development. On the way to the desired goals, there are often many life obstacles. To overcome them, it is necessary to act with perseverance, and this, of course, requires high level self-control.
In addition, this quality is critical for working through fears, obsessions, and addictions. Self-discipline helps a person gain control over his own life, behavior and reactions. It improves relationships, helps develop patience, achieve happiness and contentment.
On the other hand, insufficiently developed self-control often leads to failures in work and personal life, overeating and other bad habits, and health problems.
In what specific ways does self-control help in everyday life?
- The developed quality of self-discipline allows you to notice manifestations of self-destructive, dependent or obsessive behavior in time;
- Gives a sense of power over your life, brings balance and harmony;
- Helps keep overly emotional reactions normal;
- Develops emotional and mental independence from surrounding people and circumstances, which significantly affects the subjective feeling of peace and tranquility;
- Helps overcome feelings of helplessness;
- Self-control allows you to gain self-confidence, high self-esteem, inner strength;
- Makes a person responsible and trustworthy.
Obstacles to developing self-discipline:
- Lack of knowledge, understanding of what self-control really is;
- Strong and uncontrollable emotional reactions;
- The speed and immediacy of these reactions to stimuli of the outside world, thoughtlessness of actions;
- Weak desire to change, to become better;
- Insufficiently developed willpower;
- A subjective view of the development of self-control as an unpleasant and boring activity; the conviction that in the life of a disciplined person there is no place for entertainment;
- Lack of faith in yourself and your abilities.
How to develop self-control? Brief algorithm of actions
So, what is the general algorithm that allows you to gain control over yourself and develop the much-needed willpower?- First, you need to identify those areas of life where you lack this quality. For example, it can be shopping, overeating, smoking, workaholism, drinking, obsessions.
- Next, you need to identify those emotions in relation to which the application of self-discipline is required. Perhaps it is anger, regret, resentment or indignation, fear.
- The next step is to identify the thoughts and beliefs that drive uncontrollable behavior.
- Several times a day, especially at those moments when the need for self-control is greatest, it is necessary to repeat various affirmations. These can be such phrases:
- Next, you need to visualize your own behavior within the framework of self-control and self-restraint. Need to consider life situation in which you lack discipline, and imagine that you react calmly.
- The most important step is doing exercises to develop willpower.
On this topic:
Practical Steps for Developing the Will
- Train willpower with small actions. Many modern researchers, including the author of the famous publication "Willpower" Kelly McGonigal, compare the development of the ability to self-control with ordinary muscle training. In order to use the "volitional muscle", it must first be activated, and then gradually trained. Since, like physical muscles, willpower is subject to depletion, exercise should be gradual but regular. In addition, volitional potential usually ends by the end of the day. Therefore, it is recommended to perform unpleasant or uninteresting activities and activities in the morning.
Willpower training can include activities such as gradually cleaning the apartment, using the non-dominant hand for routine procedures, developing the habit of meditating every day. You can also try to keep your back straight throughout the day, refrain from the Internet or TV for a day or two, impose a ban on obscene language for yourself. The fact that these quests seem ordinary, in fact, only enhances their effect. By doing them, you teach the brain not to give in to impulses, to pave a pause between emotion and action.
- Reduce stress levels. Chronic stress is the main enemy of self-control. Why are there so many gluttons, alcoholics and gamers among people who live in big cities of wealthy, economically developed countries? The reason for everything is chronic stress that accumulates throughout life. Difficulties at work and in personal life, disturbing news on television, the uncertainty of the future - all this, in the end, does its job. From a successful member of the middle class, a person can quickly turn into a complete loser. The fact is that human will resources, unfortunately, are exhaustible.
To develop willpower, try to minimize stress in your life as much as possible. After all, if you deplete your volitional resources in one vital area, then they simply will not be enough for the development of another. - Choose your ideal. Finding yourself in difficult circumstances and losing faith in your own strength, it can be very difficult to continue to pursue goals once set. Nowadays, the role of "idols" is often performed by singers or actors, Hollywood stars. However, often their biographies not only do not give faith in human capabilities, but are also a negative example of what human life. Indeed, among modern stars there are also many people with alcohol, drug addiction, or simply unhappy personal lives. Therefore, the choice of a role model must be approached carefully.
Meanwhile, the world provides a huge number of samples of strong-willed human behavior. The ideal that allows you to draw confidence in the possibilities of the human spirit can be friends or relatives, heroes of films, books, politicians.
- Declare war on laziness. The reluctance to take on cases that do not arouse interest is one of the indicators of underdeveloped willpower. Laziness can be combated in several ways: making a to-do list, prioritizing, using the “carrot and stick” method. These methods should be used simultaneously. A to-do list needs to be constantly compiled - this way you train yourself to meet the deadline.
If there are a lot of cases, you can not do without ranking them by importance. You don't have to do everything at once, you can start small. After that, it will be much easier to get involved in the work. And finally, you need to reward yourself for achievements and punish yourself for not doing what was planned. After all, our brain, despite the ability to think logically and other achievements of evolution, still has the properties of the brain of Pavlov's dog.
Well-developed self-control gives strength to firmly follow one's decisions. It is a mandatory requirement to achieve the goals.
If someone in a battle defeated a thousand people a thousand times, and another won
if he were himself alone, then it is this other who is the greatest victor in the battle.
Self-control, like all qualities, is developed through exercise. Whoever wants to control passions in adulthood must learn this in his youth.
One of the highest earthly possessions is self-control.
Self-control, self-discipline is not slavery; they are also necessary in love.
Self-mastery is the key to possession
When, due to circumstances, the balance of the spirit is disturbed, restore your composure as quickly as possible and do not remain in a depressed mood for too long, otherwise you will no longer be able to help. The habit of restoring harmony will improve you.
Self-control as a personality trait - the abilitymaintain inner peace, act reasonably and prudently in difficult life situations.
Once a woman came to her friend and complained: - When my husband comes home, he immediately pounces on me: scolds, screams - there is no escape from him! .. - You know, my friend, I have a wonderful remedy - a mixture. A friend gave it to me. For those wives who accept it, their husbands become quiet and calm. I'll bottle you up. And you need to take it like this: as soon as the husband starts to rage, pour the mixture into a tablespoon and take it in your mouth, just don’t swallow it. And keep it in your mouth until the husband calms down. And when you calm down - spit it out. The woman took the medicine and went home. A week later I met my friend and enthusiastically said: - Thank you! You were right: your potion had an effect on your husband! As soon as I take it in my mouth, it instantly calms down. So, without realizing what was happening, the woman turned for her husband into a living embodiment of self-control.
Self-control is a purely masculine quality of personality. Being a strong-willed quality based on endurance, courage and determination, it manifests itself in a man whenever it is necessary to control not only his own, but also other people's emotions, to have a confident look, quick calculation, accurate reaction and a firm hand, not to panic, to be stable , patient and tactful in any situation. Self-control is a man's "partner" in an extreme situation. Having such a reliable friend who will always help out in difficult times, a man does not act emotionally, but reasonably, rationally, makes the optimal, only correct decision, perceives the world through the prism of balance, calmness, measuredness and self-confidence, maintains clarity of mind and ingenuity. A man with an amputated self-control is prone to cowardice, imbalance, rudeness, rudeness, tactlessness and licentiousness.
A woman who possesses herself will remain with herself. A rare man will like a “robot in a skirt”, devoid of emotionality, spontaneity and naturalness. The female mind is many times greater than the male. Since it is directly related to feelings, a woman is many times more emotional than a man. A woman who suppresses emotions runs the risk of losing the most important thing - her family and husband. A woman's self-control means being open to her husband, showing sentimentality, weakness, anxiety and cowardice, that is, letting her feelings and emotions go free, openly, without fear of showing them. Everything, of course, should be in moderation, and a woman’s self-control does not mean showing rudeness, impudence, unrestrained capriciousness, “sawing” her husband and children day and night, not taking anyone into account, walking with such a face as if a bag of cat’s were weighing under her nose. bowel movements.
Of course, when a family is in a difficult situation, a woman pulls herself together, strains all her powerful energy of mind, feelings and resists life's difficulties sometimes much more rationally and pragmatically than a man. When a gun is fired, a bullet flies out with great energy, the reverse energy is recoil. In a woman, the opposite effect of mental stress is manifested in the splashing of emotions. Emotions are devoid of childhood, they always appear in full size. When there is no crisis in the family, a woman has the right to constant anxiety. This is her normal state, and a reasonable man must understand and accept this as unshakable. constitutional law women. A woman is also entitled to complain of being tired at any time, to speak about her unwillingness to go somewhere, to squeal at the sight of a mouse and to reduce the number of tableware. A man needs to understand that a woman makes a huge message of psychic energy that ensures the well-being of the family, children and husband.
A woman, having learned the truth that self-control is by no means self-possessive, condescendingly allows her husband to practice self-control in her presence. In order for this to happen naturally and harmoniously, a woman must help increase the resource of her husband's patience. The resource of male patience is female fidelity. Confident in his own rear, a man without a strong effort of will shows self-control in any extreme situations.
Self-control is an internal controller whose duty is the sound regulation of desires and appetites, control of one's thoughts, feelings and speech, avoiding extremes and finding a person within reasonable limits. You can test a person for self-control only in a conflict situation. When everything in life goes “calmly, no enemies, no friends to be seen, everything is cultured, everything is decent - exceptional grace”, then it is easy to control yourself. Another thing is when a person is provoked to anger when a conflict situation arises. A person who has self-control will be calm, cool and focused, he will not show ardor, knowing what stupid things can be done.
Let us illustrate this with an excerpt from the book by Yu. Aleksandrovsky “Psychogenies in extreme situations”: “In any even the most difficult conditions, 12-25% of people maintain self-control, correctly assess the situation, clearly and decisively act in accordance with the situation. According to our observations and questioning of people who experienced various life-threatening situations and retained self-control and the ability to purposeful actions at critical moments, when they realized the catastrophic nature of what was happening, they thought not about their own survival, but about the responsibility for the need to correct what had happened and save the lives of others. It was this “superthought” in the mind that determined the corresponding actions that were carried out clearly and purposefully. As soon as the "overthinking" was replaced by panic fear and ignorance of what to do specifically, there was a loss of self-control, and various psychogenic disorders developed. Most people (approximately 50-70%) in extreme situations in the first moments are "stunned" and inactive.
A vivid example of self-control is the behavior of cosmonauts Alexei Leonov and Pavel Belyaev during the dramatic circumstances of the flight in March 1965. Until the moment of the first man's spacewalk, fears were expressed: some argued that the astronaut could "weld" to the ship, others believed that a person deprived of his usual support would not be able to make a single movement outside the ship, and others believed that infinite space would cause fear in a person and will negatively affect his psyche ... One way or another, but no one, including the Chief Designer, knew exactly how the space would meet a person who risked taking the first step in his space. “If it is very difficult, make a decision depending on the situation,” Korolev told the astronauts. In extreme cases, the crew was allowed to "limit itself only to opening the hatch and ... putting a hand overboard."
Such a difficult task as the first spacewalk of a man from the cabin of a ship through an airlock could be solved only by people with self-control. As psychologists noted, Belyaev was characterized by will and endurance, allowing him not to get lost in the most difficult situations, logical thinking, and great perseverance in overcoming difficulties in achieving his goal. Leonov, on the other hand, belonged to the choleric type - impulsive, bold, decisive, he was able to easily develop vigorous activity. In addition, being endowed with an artistic gift, Leonov could quickly take in and memorize entire pictures, and then reproduce them quite accurately. Immediately after the ascent into orbit, already at the end of the first orbit, the crew began to prepare for Leonov's spacewalk. Belyaev helped him put on an individual life support system pack with oxygen, then filled the airlock with air, pressed the button and the hatch connecting the ship's cabin with the airlock opened. Leonov “floated” into the lock chamber, Belyaev closed the hatch into the chamber and began to depressurize it, then pressed the button and opened the hatch of the chamber. It remained to take the last step... Alexei Leonov gently pushed off the ship, spread his arms like wings, and began to soar freely in the airless space high above the Earth. When Leonov saw the Irtysh and the Yenisei, he received a command from Belyaev to return to the cockpit, but an unforeseen and terrible event occurred in its threat. The fact is that in a vacuum, Leonov's spacesuit swelled so much that he could not squeeze into the airlock hatch, and there was no time to consult with the Earth. He made attempt after attempt - all to no avail, and the supply of oxygen in the suit was running out. In such critical moments, a person shows strength. At the risk of turning into space debris in a few minutes, Leonov could succumb to panic, lose his quick wits and clear eyes. But he turned on his self-control, that is, having shown restraint and overcoming fear, he decisively began to act - he relieved pressure in the spacesuit and, contrary to the instructions that ordered him to enter the airlock with his feet, he decided to "float" face forward, and, fortunately, he succeeded ... Leonov spent 12 minutes in outer space, for which a short time he was sweating, as if a tub of water had been poured on him - the psychological burden was so great.
But the astronaut's misadventures did not end there. Fate presented them with another test of self-control. On the seventeenth orbit, the ship's automatics failed, caused by the “shooting off” of the lock chamber, I had to go to the next, eighteenth orbit and land using the manual control system. This was the first manual landing, and during its implementation it was found that it was impossible to look into the porthole from the cosmonaut's working chair and assess the position of the ship in relation to the Earth. It was possible to start braking only while sitting in a seat in a fastened state. Due to this contingency, the accuracy required during the descent was lost. The delay of the command to turn on the brake engines was 45 seconds. As a result, the cosmonauts landed far from the calculated landing point, in the deep taiga, 180 km northwest of Perm. The cosmonauts had to spend two nights alone in the wild forest in severe frost. Only on the third day rescuers on skis made their way to them through the deep snow.
Petr Kovalev 2013
In any situation, maintain inner calm, and make reasonable, balanced decisions even in difficult circumstances. A popular synonym for this concept is restraint. It is generally accepted that it is also a personality trait, a special character trait that indicates a person’s ability to control himself, which is valued in modern society, but not common to everyone.
Formation of quality
Self-control is such a character trait that you can instill in yourself. But not without difficulty. For its formation, a person must be distinguished by courage, determination and endurance. Without the ability to control your movements and behavior, nothing will work. People who are inherent in self-control are not only those individuals who are able to control themselves and their own speech. Above all, they manage to refrain from unconscious actions, control their desires, achieve their goals and give up something when necessary.
Such people successfully suppress emotions such as anger, fear, pain, fatigue. They are not prone to impulsive actions. They manage to keep cool even in the most controversial situations. Which is undeniably challenging given the pace and dynamism of life in today's society.
The Art of Owning Yourself
Quite often, this is how psychologists call the quality in question. However, such a property as self-control can be called art. The meaning of the word was mentioned above, but this is only a brief definition of it. The art of self-control implies the ability of a person to rational actions. But people are social beings. And in most cases, our actions are more emotional than rational. The ability to listen to the mind, and not to the heart, can be considered an art, or even a talent.
Such people are patient - they endure inconvenience and difficulties. They manage to abstain from the harmful (often very desirable) in the direction of the useful. They are calm, balanced, calm. And they also have a "rod". Even at the moment of the most seductive temptations and severe trials of life, they remain faithful and devotion to what is valuable to them.
In addition, self-control makes it possible to rule not only over oneself, but also over other people. A rational person who sees the world through the prism of self-confidence and calm is usually listened to.
self control
Everything described above can be understood by every person who is interested in the question "Self-control - what is it?". But some people have this quality, while others do not.
This is because it manifests itself at moments of emotional peak of tension, which are accompanied by difficult chemical processes in the body, as well as a kind of “response” of the brain and endocrine system to stress. Take, for example, the usual family quarrel. For some, it develops into a real scandal with breaking dishes, slaps and abuse. For others, everything is decided in a few minutes of calm conversation. It's just that some people are more balanced and less impressionable. Therefore, they manage to cope with stressful situations without much shake-ups for the nervous system.
Individual characteristics
It is difficult to overestimate such a quality as self-control. Its value is important, since it is this character trait that can help a person to facilitate his existence in modern society.
But the ability of a person to control himself depends on individual behavioral stereotypes, which include social and cultural attitudes instilled in a person with early childhood. We all regularly notice that something that is categorically unacceptable for some people is considered the norm for others. And therefore, it is not surprising that in the same situations individuals react differently.
Matter of habit
People develop immunity to everything. And stressful situations are no exception. A simple example can be given. If a person works actively with people for a long time, then he is not surprised by their different behavior, emotional outbursts, and different reactions to something. He was used to this, and what he just did not see. And if at some point in everyday life he happens to encounter an aggressive evil person, then most likely he will only brush him off, saying a couple of relevant words, and forget about what happened.
But an individual who is accustomed to peace and tranquility in interpersonal relationships will behave differently in a similar situation. It is unlikely that it will do without experiences, an increased excited tone and subsequent reflections on what happened. And there are thousands of similar examples.
Well, based on all of the above, we can conclude. Self-control is not just a character trait. This is an indicator of the social and emotional maturity of the individual, the presence of which greatly facilitates the life of a person in society.
Endurance and self-control are integral components of success in any field of activity. If a person does not know how to manage his emotions, it will be difficult for him to achieve significant results in life. Self-control is salient feature a personality that allows him to overcome obstacles and obstacles on the way to his own goal. If people could learn to trust themselves more, they would be more willing to make plans and look more confidently into the future. This article reveals the essence of self-control, allows you to see what it consists of and how it should be developed.
Concept definition
Self-control is a personality trait that develops as a result of fruitful work on oneself. No one is born so strong and rational as to be able to immediately conquer their own emotions. However, this can and should be learned.
Self-control is to some extent a condition for seeing one's own prospects. Those who are so insecure that they cannot determine their individual values and dreams are unable to manage their emotional state.
Ability to be honest
Why is sincerity so important here? Oddly enough, it matters how open a person can be both to himself and to the people around him. The most important thing is to learn not to deceive yourself, not to try to justify yourself in some difficult situations. He who is honest with himself has great endurance and a sound mind. Sincerity is also good for building self-control. After all, if we are aware of everything that happens to us, then it becomes much easier to work with our feelings, to develop strengths. In this case, self-control is as important as the ability to admit one's own mistakes.
Responsible approach
The feeling of reliability is as important for the formation of personality as the knowledge of the rules of etiquette and behavior in a certain situation. Responsibility is precisely formed from an inner vision that everything will be fine. Few, unfortunately, are able to feel such strength in themselves. When a person takes responsibility for everything that happens to him, then in case of failure, he does not look for the guilty, does not try to shift his tasks that need to be solved to someone else.
Responsibility implies a conscious intention to take active steps to achieve a specific result. Self-control helps a person cope with excitement, pull himself together, overcome some fears, doubts. Most people at the right time, taking will into a fist, act, despite any difficulties.
Strength of character
Great success is achieved not by the one who is very lucky, but by the patient and persistent. The ability to act through defeat and anxiety is worth a lot of work. Self-control is in psychology the education of the corresponding qualities of character necessary for self-realization. The ability to be persistent, purposeful is born from within and comes to a person at the right time. That is, when he feels the need to show firmness, to control the situation.
Losing self-control is always very unpleasant and fraught with many consequences. First of all, the person loses contact with himself, the ability to control his own emotions. Character must be worked on daily in order to achieve concrete results. Try not to run away from the problems that arise, but to solve them. In order to simplify your task, you can break one big difficulty into several small components.
Desire to overcome difficulties
Unfortunately, not every person has such a need. Some of us, finding ourselves in a difficult or unfamiliar situation, are lost, do not know what to do. Instead of a decisive step, a person suddenly begins to take a set of chaotic, unrelated actions. This behavior is called escape from reality, when the problem remains unresolved for quite a long time. Many people choose this line of behavior, preferring an escape from complexity to a constructive approach. Of course, it is much easier to go with the flow than to set realistic goals and try to solve them.
The desire to overcome difficulties is dictated by the maturity of the personality, the maturation of its motivational sphere. When a person clearly knows why he needs this or that achievement, as a rule, there are no unnecessary questions. In a state of readiness come the forces for action. Such a concept as "self-control" necessarily correlates with the intention to go to the end, to be true to one's desires.
Flexibility of mind
In life, external conditions often change. And it's completely natural. While we tune in to the same wave, the situation can change dramatically. In this case, most people are lost, they lose their strength and motivation for action, some openly give up their positions. Only able to go through significant obstacles and not regret the choice made. Self-control helps not to stop halfway, but to complete the work begun. How to grow it in yourself? You need to work very hard, be prepared for the fact that it will be painful and difficult. Nor should one perceive a particular situation as immutable. Realize that every problem has a solution.
It is necessary to learn to accept current events as life lessons and treat them positively. Don't beat yourself up for the mistakes you made in the past, it doesn't make any sense. Look ahead in order to find a significant goal in the future that you would like to get closer to.
Deliberate Action
Everyone knows that the right decisions are not made in a fever, not under the influence of strong emotions, but on cold head. Do not rush into an important transaction. It is necessary to turn on your discretion as much as possible and carefully analyze the available details. Be fair to yourself, try to adequately assess your own perspectives. To do this, think: what prevents you in some cases from feeling more calm and purposeful?
Self-control is when, instead of taking a bunch of unnecessary actions, you choose and do only one, but one that will be useful both to yourself and others. People actually quickly get used to someone sacrificing their time or valuables for their good, but are not always ready to do so in return.
Self confidence
Whatever business a person undertakes, he always needs to feel additional strength in himself to carry out his intention. Otherwise, he will abandon his plan even at the stage of building intentions. often doubt their abilities, are critical of their own thoughts and ideas. They need help, someone stronger to lead them, make them believe that any achievement does not come by itself, but is the result of systematic actions.
Losing self-control means losing a sense of confidence that a difficult situation will be resolved favorably. Without faith in one's own prospects, it is impossible to fully live and interact harmoniously with others.
Thus, self-control performs the function of a protective reaction of the individual, allows her to independently realize which decision will be beneficial and useful for her.
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