Justice is the concept of due, which contains the requirement of conformity of action and retribution: in particular, the conformity of rights and obligations, labor and remuneration, merits and their recognition, crime and punishment, the conformity of the role of various social strata, groups and individuals in society and their social position in it. In economics, the requirement for the equality of citizens in the distribution of a limited resource. The lack of proper correspondence between these entities is assessed as unfair. The positive element of Justice lies in the recognition of each person's right to unimpeded activity and to the use of the benefits that it brings; and since people are gifted differently, inequality is inevitable as a result of their actions. The negative element of the idea of ​​Justice lies in the realization that there are limits due to the presence of other people who have the same rights, respect for which is the most necessary condition of social life; in the thought of mutually bounded spheres of action lies the notion of equality. An unbalanced assessment of these two elements leads, according to Spencer, to divergent moral and social theories. Thus, in the idea of ​​Justice, worked out by Greek philosophy, the element of inequality prevails. In Plato's dialogues, "the rule that individuals should not take what belongs to another, and in turn not be deprived of what belongs to them" is recognized as fair; Justice consists, therefore, in "that every man should have and do what is his"; it is unfair to take on another person's occupation and "work your way" from one class to another. On the contrary, in the systems of utilitarianism (Bentham's rule: "everyone should be counted for one, no one should be counted for more than one") and communism, the element of inequality completely disappears: Justice means an equal distribution of material and non-material benefits achieved by human activity, and absolutely no it is allowed that the proportions of happiness that go to people represent inequalities, according to their abilities or characters. The true concept of justice is obtained, according to Spencer, through the proper coordination of the two indicated elements, and the ideas of equality and inequality are applied simultaneously: the first - to the boundaries, the second - to the results of human activity. In fact, Spencer's theory corresponds only to the worldview of capitalist society, as expressed in the laisser faire motto, which limits the tasks of the state to the mere protection of law. Meanwhile, the demands of justice, having an unchanging basis, change in their content in accordance with the needs of time and place. This unchanging foundation is expressed in Hillel's formula: "do not do to others what you do not wish for yourself" - a formula that boils down to the principle of the equivalence of all people, which is far from tantamount to a recognition of equality regarding the limits of human activity. Since the time of Aristotle, two types of Justice have been distinguished:

Equalizing - refers to the relations of equal people about objects ("equal - for equal"). It refers not directly to people, but to their actions, and requires equality (equivalence) of labor and pay, the value of a thing and its price, harm and its compensation. Relations of egalitarian justice require the participation of at least two persons.

Distributive - requires proportionality in relation to people according to one or another criterion (“equal - equal, unequal - unequal”, “to each his own”). A relationship of distributive justice requires the participation of at least three people, each acting to achieve the same goal within an organized community. One of these people distributing is the "boss".

These two directions of justice are the reason why a "just world" is impossible for everyone. If on the example of the same salaries, in the first variant, when everyone receives the same salary, in the second - when everyone receives the salary that they deserve due to their activities. In the first case, those who really work hard will always be offended, but they will still receive the same amount as absolute loafers and mediocrity, who will also always be in any society. In the second case, those who, in terms of their characteristic moral and physical qualities, cannot jump above their heads in any way, no matter how they work, will be offended, therefore they will earn very little and envy the “rich people” who have the same job very easily. In short, there are no options when someone will not be offended. As one blogger broadcast an interesting thought - “Everyone hates Paris Hilton because everything was given to her at birth thanks to her parents and she herself did nothing, but for some reason they love Usain Bolt (the fastest runner in the world) and other world champions , although they also achieved success thanks to what they got at birth - genetics. Professional sports are the sport of those who were lucky enough to be born, training is important, but still secondary. "

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Quoting the Anacondaz group: "In order to achieve the common good. So that each individual gets what he deserves. Firstly, the land must be given to the peasants. And secondly, the sperm must be given to prostitutes" Justice is a relative concept, in my opinion. If we are talking about an ideal, just world, then these are probably salaries that correspond to the efforts expended, the absence of serious illnesses in children, always mutual and pure love, and so on.

Justice in the original sense is correctness, see etymology in the answer:

The criterion of correctness is simple and brutal, like everything in nature: what helps the survival of society and its environment is correct.

For example, sharing bread with a hungry person who is unlucky, or with a child is right, but if he also behaves correctly (including not being lazy and greedy). This is true. On the contrary, constantly feeding a parasite is unfair and wrong. Another example: putting on an oxygen mask first on yourself, then on a child is right from the point of view of survival, and therefore fair. Breaking trees aimlessly in the forest is wrong, but making a hut for spending the night out of them is usually quite justified (if the forest is large and it will not be damaged).

The problem is that society has become extremely complex, and it is often difficult to tell what increases its chances of survival and what lowers it. As a first approximation, it is unfair to avoid punishment for illegal actions. But legislation only formalizes what has already been worked out by society as morality.

On the other hand, any society is subject to the influence of propaganda, populism (i.e., playing on human vices), therefore, it is possible to find out exactly what is right and wrong, except in cases of obvious danger, only by the fact whether this society survived in fair competition with others or not. And here another problem arises: if one morality is imposed everywhere by force and social traditions are destroyed, this main criterion will no longer exist.

We all sometimes complain about people or different situations in life. Sometimes this process can be called the release of steam, but no matter what anyone says, in fact it is the same thing. On the surface, complaining may look harmless, and perhaps even helpful, as blowing off steam can make you feel better. However, in reality, complaints can have serious physical and moral consequences.

Complaints in human life

Society itself seems to inspire people to complain. They complain that they have to work too much, that they do not have enough time, and that they are too busy to enjoy life. People complain about politics, which is a favorite pastime for many, family members and family problems, lack of sleep and constant fatigue. And they are very fond of complaining when they are sick - the list is endless. And even if you don't specifically complain too much (or you think you do, and this article will give you a serious and dispassionate look at the situation), each of us knows people who do it all the time and feel how uncomfortable it is to be in their presence.

The impact of complaints on people

But how do complaints affect people? From the point of view of the brain, synapses that are connected to each other also act together - this is the main message of neuroscience. Every time you complain, you strengthen the neural connection, making it much easier to activate. Do this often enough and complaining will become your default setting. Negative thoughts breed more negativity and you can easily find yourself in a vicious circle of endless complaining and negative thinking. In addition, misfortune does not come alone, so people who like to complain are more likely to become friends with the same ones, which further strengthens the scheme. And dissatisfied lovers of complaining affect even positively minded people around them. Have you ever noticed how you want to complain about something of your own when your friend is crying about something similar in his life? This happens easily and unintentionally to even the most positive people who never complain themselves. Sometimes this can lead to a long conversation consisting mostly of complaints, such as talking about politics in a negative way. Think about how you feel after that?

Complaints and diseases

Long-term complaints lead to stress, and there is documented evidence that long-term stress leads to illness. It weakens the immune system, raises blood pressure, increases the risk of heart disease, obesity and diabetes, and can cause many other ailments. Scientists have known for years that elevated levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, interfere with the brain processes responsible for learning and memory, reduce immune function and bone density, contribute to weight gain and heart disease, and increase blood pressure and blood cholesterol level. Chronic stress and elevated cortisol levels also increase the risk of depression and mental illness, and even reduce life expectancy.

How to stop complaining?

However, it is impossible not to complain at all - people need to let off steam sometimes. So you should read some tips that will help you do it less often and in moderation. Take your time to react and always give yourself time to cool down - step back from what worries you in order to get rid of negative emotions. Try breathing deeply, go for a walk in nature, go to the gym, meditate, or do something fun or relaxing to take your mind off things. Write down what's bothering you - this will help you better understand why you're upset and see the situation from a more neutral point of view. Take responsibility for your role in the current situation. Don't try to make one person wrong and blame them for everything. Try to think about what lessons you can learn from this situation. What can she teach you? Self-analysis helps to find balance and find a solution to any problem, as well as to determine whether it would be better not to focus on a particular issue and leave it behind.

What happens to us when we constantly listen to someone's complaints

There are many problems in our life. Naturally, our relatives and friends also have them, and we often have to listen to complaints on something or someone. On the one hand, this is natural, people want to somehow relieve tension, to speak out. But in other way, constantly listening to someone else's complaints takes energy from us.

It is good to show empathy and sympathize with your loved ones and acquaintances when they have a hard time, but constantly listen to complaints just bad for us.

And it is very difficult to refuse it. After all, we I do not want to be in the eyes of "complainers" insensitive people or egoists.

Therefore, it is important to be able to identify such situations, to know how they can affect our lives, and to be able to respond appropriately to them.

Why not listen to complaints?

Such people curse their lives, pretend to be victims, complain about everything and everyone, but do nothing to change the situation, change their lives.

For a while, we normally perceive these complaints (what to do if a person has a difficult situation and is unlucky all the time ...), but then we begin to understand that the point is not in the situation, but in the person himself, that the tendency to complain about everything and all became part of his lifestyle.

He uses (consciously or unconsciously) these complaints as means of manipulation, the purpose of which is to make us feel guilty, compassion, pity and, at the same time, relieve himself of responsibility for what happens to him.

Often we succumb to this manipulation and feel obligated to solve his problems, or at least listen sympathetically to his “outpourings” and comfort him.

What happens to us when we constantly listen to someone's complaints

Such “complainers” usually know how to move their interlocutors to pity, and we often We “permeate” their misfortunes (real or fictional) and begin to perceive their problems as our own.

It takes a significant part of our energy from us.

Our emotional state changes, our emotions are now largely determined by the situation in which the other person is.

Feelings such as frustration, guilt, and sadness cause hormonal changes in the brain, resulting in:

• Emotional imbalance
• Difficulties with solving own problems
• Deterioration of concentration
• negative thoughts

What can we do to not be led by “complainers”?

Life often disrupts and confuses our plans, and from time to time we have to deal with unpleasant surprises and problems.

In case of failure we often experience frustration and bitterness, but it is not wise to dwell on these negative emotions.

We spend on these feelings and on complaints the energy that we could use to overcome the obstacles that have arisen, to solve problems.

This is how “complainers” behave, and you should not play along with them. We do not have to listen to endless complaints and make other people's problems our problems.

We can't solve other people's problems We've had enough of our problems.

Then… What to do?

1. Keep your distance

Whenever possible, keep your distance from such people, because they are trying to manipulate you.

The less you listen to their complaints, the sooner they will understand that you are not going to “permeate” their negative experiences, you are not going to waste energy on it.

2. Make it clear to the “complainer” that his problem is his problem.

If you have taken the time to listen to complaints, let the “complainer” know that the main problem is in his attitude to the situation and to life in general.

Try not to get too caught up in his situation and encourage him to solve the problem on his own.

3. Don't show "weakness"

Since you are dealing with a manipulator, you should not show him your willingness to solve his problems.

Of course, you can feel empathy, but try to control the situation and do not rush to help when the problem doesn't concern you.

4. Set boundaries

You have the right to demand from such a person that he does not share his tragedies with you and does not harass you with complaints.

If you're already tired of listening to all this negativity, tell him that you don't like it and you don't want him to pour his stream of complaints on you.

Do you have a friend or relative who complains to you all the time? It's time to act!

Don't play their game otherwise You will feel that for some reason you let a lot of negativity into your life. published .

If you have any questions, ask them

P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness - together we change the world! © econet

1. Change the subject. Listening to complaints can be exhausting and can also make the conversation rather awkward. The next time the person complains, switch their attention to something else.

   • So, if your aunt is complaining about your uncle's busy schedule, try saying, "I know you have a busy life too. Tell me about your new reading club!"
   • By changing the direction of the conversation, you demonstrate your desire to talk about something else. Most importantly, change the topic to something more neutral.
   • Avoid potentially negative topics. For example, if your friend complains about his job all the time, don't talk about it. Instead, discuss a book you both recently read.

2. Set boundaries. Perhaps your friends are constantly using you as a good listener. If people regularly complain to you, then they see you as someone they can trust. However, on the other hand, it can emotionally drain you yourself.

   • Show your friends that you need to set some boundaries. Try saying: "Masha, I'm always ready to listen and support you, but sometimes I want to talk with you about my life."
   • Perhaps your friend has problems that make you feel uncomfortable. Don't be afraid to state it directly.
   • So, if your girlfriend complains all the time about her unsatisfactory sex life, try to answer: "Nastya, do you mind if we change the subject? It's rather uncomfortable for me to hear about such personal details."

3. Use "I-statements". It's important to explain to a friend or family member that you don't like listening to them complain all the time. Express your feelings with first-person sentences. You can also ask the whiner person to rephrase his grievances in the same manner.

   • "I-statement" focuses on the feelings and thoughts of the one who speaks, and not the one who listens. Using these phrases when communicating with others will help you reduce the stress that you hear about complaints.
   • When you live with a person who is constantly unhappy with something, it may seem to you that he blames you for everything bad that happens at home. Instead of saying, "I'm tired of listening to you whine," say, "I feel like I'm being blamed for all the trouble in this house."
   • Or instead of the phrase "You're just a terrible whiner!" You could try saying something like, “I’m really stressed out by listening to negativity all the time.”
   • You can also ask people to rephrase their complaints in the first person. For example, instead of the words "New Year at your house was just terrible!" you can say: "Our meetings for the holidays cause me a lot of stress."
   • Try to use "I-statements" every time you communicate with someone who complains a lot. This will help you demonstrate how helpful these statements can be.

4. Deal with an elderly person who often complains. Elderly people can express many grievances. Your family gatherings can be spoiled if you invite an elderly relative who complains to others. However, there are ways, having learned which, you can resolve a particular situation.

   • Take a moment to listen. Often older people are lonely and just want someone to talk to. Change the subject to something upbeat and enjoy the conversation.
   • Offer help. Many elderly people are unable to cope with the daily challenges of life.
   • If your grandmother complains about traffic jams, offer a solution to this problem. Tell her that you will be happy to buy her groceries, and then she will not have to spend a lot of time in the car or on public transport.

5. Learn to deal with a complaining child. If you have children, chances are you've heard so many complaints that it's hard to imagine. Usually children aged 11-12 and teenagers are constantly dissatisfied. But you yourself can choose how to respond to complaints from the child.

   • Try using a brainstorming technique. If your teen complains of being bored, ask them to make a list of things they would like to do. This will help him find a solution to this problem on his own.
   • Be patient. Remember that children go through many changes.
   • Very often, the child's complaints are based on feelings of anxiety or even fatigue. Take care to find the root of the problem.
   • Don't judge. Try not to criticize the child for his whims. For example, if he said dinner was "disgusting," try saying, "I'm sorry you didn't like it." If you don't pay much attention to your child's complaints, he will likely start expressing his emotions in a more positive way.

6. Spend time with company. If you are attending a social event, you may not feel comfortable listening to someone constantly complaining. If you have a friend or relative who seemingly enjoys their whining, it can ruin all the fun in many situations. If this bothers you, try not to spend time alone with someone who is constantly unhappy with something.

   • People complain much less when they are in the company of several people. You don't have to turn down a cup of coffee with a cousin who whines all the time. Just invite someone else to join you.
   • The next time a relative calls you to a cafe, just say, "That would be great, but I already have plans with my friends. Do you mind if they join us?"
   • When you're with a company, you'll feel less pressure to respond to complaints. If your friend doesn't like the pizza they brought her, you don't have to react at all if someone else is sitting next to her. Just let the other members of the company lead the conversation.

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You may genuinely want to lust after your partner, but if all the air is out of the relationship, the flame will inevitably go out, says coach Pamela Madsen 1 . One of the best ways to keep the erotic in a relationship is to not be afraid of the rollercoaster of married life, to go into conflicts and seek solutions in negotiations with each other. Sex occurs where there is rapprochement and distance, resistance and relaxation, inhalation and exhalation ...

We like stability and constancy, and we strive to create just such an alliance. And then stability begins to burden us, and we are looking for something completely different: freedom. The truth is that within a couple that maintains erotic interest in a long and serious relationship, you can find a place for unlimited freedom. If we love each other, not merging, but not too far away, recognizing all the colors of life, both soft and bright, not afraid of quarrels and reconciliations, then we will have enough strength and energy for a long union. 12 tips for those who want to live happily ever after.

1. Don't be afraid to fight

Arguments, stormy explanations and squabbles are not the end of the world, this is a normal moment in a couple's life. Even the most loving spouses fight. In the heat of the moment, we can yell at each other, insult, even complain about him (her) to friends. It is only important to remember that despite all disagreements, the main thing in your relationship is love. Learn to overcome your differences for the sake of joint happiness.

2. Don't Forget the Little Things

Help her make the bed. Ask him how the day went. Kiss each other, wishing "good night." These little things are more important than you think. They contain such important words as “I want to help you in everything”, “your life is important to me”, “I am glad that I spent this day next to you”. And it doesn't matter if it was a good day or a terrible one, these little things will light it up and stay with you forever.

3. Be mindful of trade-offs

The life of a couple consists of concessions and obligations. And if you want your loved one to be happy, you still have to sometimes sacrifice an evening with friends for dinner with her mother, and sometimes you need to postpone an early trip to the country so that he can go to football in peace. You may not like all this, and this is normal, but every time such duties make you angry, just remember for whom you are doing this. And rightly so, the happiness of a loved one is worth a couple of hours.

4. Give gifts

Unexpected, funny, frivolous, ridiculous - it doesn't matter. A tender and passionate text message in the middle of the day, flowers or sweets bought in a store near the house, a new lighter to replace a lost loved one - it's amazing how such little things keep the flame of passion alive.

5. Repeat "I love you" more often

Nobody ever got tired of hearing that. Do not be afraid to seem cloying, we are ready to eat this sweetness forever. Life is long and hard, and sometimes these three words are enough to stop quarrels and support a loved one.

6. Do not take dirty linen out of the hut

Let quarrels and a working moment in the life of a couple, you should not arrange them in public. Not at dinner with friends, not on vacation at the hotel. Firstly, this is a time of rest, and you should not spoil it with mutual nit-picking. Even if you are very angry, put your anger at home. Secondly, do not spoil the life of strangers - no one likes to watch scenes. The same goes for pranks on your partner: every time you drive around about her dress in front of friends, or tell how funny he snores in his sleep, you take away a small piece of self-esteem from your loved one. The phrase “preying on someone” is not a figure of speech, think about whether two minutes of attention from friends is worth it.

7. Help each other

Be supportive and supportive to each other. Don't let others talk bad about your partner in front of you. Never betray the trust of your better half. Be there. Try to make life easier for your loved one. And yes, sometimes you have to wash the dishes for her or take out the trash for him.

8. Don't play dumb

You are at work, you have an important meeting, and at this time she calls you to ask when you will be at home? Do not reject her calls - pick up the phone and answer. If you can’t talk, say so, drop the text message, in the end. It will take you 15 seconds, but no one on the other end of the wire will think that you are neglecting them.

9. Be grateful

Add some feeling to the casual "thank you" that you mumble when he/she makes you a cup of tea. Feel free to give thanks for even the smallest things. Try to express your appreciation in some other way than a simple “thank you” (but if nothing comes to mind, then a sincere “thank you” is already a lot). And yet, do not be afraid to show gratitude and affection in public - everyone is pleased with public signs of sincere benevolence.

10. Share plans

A friend from school called you, whom you have not seen for 15 years, and will you go for a drink for a meeting? Call home and tell your wife about it. Have you decided to unwind a little and go shopping? Same thing - let your husband know where you are and what's wrong with you. This is by no means a restriction or a leash - it's just a sign of respect for a partner: like you, he needs to plan his life, for which he needs information. Moreover, if you (whether accidentally or deliberately) do not talk about your plans, this quickly develops from a mistake into a feeling that “he (s) is not telling me something,” which is why trust problems will soon begin. But this is so easy to avoid (see paragraph 8).

11. Live here and now

Hold hands while walking. Open the door for her and give her a coat. Take him by the hand. Hug. Have sex. Find time to be alone. And at this moment, do not be distracted by the phone and social networks. Give your partner undivided attention.