What should an educated person do? Education: congenital or acquired

An educated person should be able not only to take care of himself, to control himself, but also to treat the people around him correctly. Exactly at good attitude to others, especially to women and the elderly, such wonderful spiritual qualities of an educated person are manifested as respect for comrades, politeness, modesty, courtesy, tact, delicacy and attentiveness.

Wherever a man is - indoors, on a tram, on a bus or trolley bus - he must give way to a woman or an elderly person; it is his duty. A man gives way to an armchair or sofa to a woman or an elderly person, and he himself is content with a chair. If a woman sitting on the couch invites you to sit down, do not sit next to her, but take a separate chair.

Walking with a woman to the door or meeting her at the door, a man must let her go ahead of him. The same should be done for the elderly.

Walking with a woman, a man should not leave her when meeting with a friend, even if the latter expresses a desire to say: arrange a meeting and follow your own path. Only in extreme cases can you move away from your companion with her permission, but even then not for long. Otherwise, you will show inattention to the woman, and she may leave without waiting for your return. Therefore, having met on the street an acquaintance with a woman, if he did not introduce you to her, do not enter into a conversation, but only say hello and, if necessary, arrange a meeting.

To give a woman a coat is a duty of courtesy of a man, but not his duty; therefore, for this service, a woman should thank, but never refuse it.

An educated person is always tactful: he does not allow swagger and rudeness towards elders and a woman, he will not put another in an awkward position and, in turn, will not notice his awkwardness. In a conversation with elders, you should not make comments to them about their behavior (if this behavior does not go beyond the bounds of decency, of course), especially in the form of notations. When talking with elders, you should not interrupt them or start talking before they have finished. When talking with the elder, give him the opportunity to speak first, do not give advice to the elder if he has not contacted you. When suggesting or advising something to a senior, ask his permission.

For any service rendered, for any attention shown to you, it is necessary to thank and, if possible, respond with mutual service and attention. Having caused inconvenience or trouble to another person, you should immediately apologize, and if possible, mitigate your guilt (raise if something is dropped, put in place if something is knocked over).

No need to insult a person if you see that he offended you without malicious intent; you should not read moralizing to someone who inadvertently bothered you or caused you inconvenience. In general, we must remember that it is necessary to be delicate, polite and tactful only in relation to those people who allow any kind of awkwardness inadvertently, without any intention. If a person deliberately violates the norms of order, deliberately interferes with others, offends and insults them, then in relation to him it is necessary to act as decisively and abruptly as possible.

An unpleasant impression is produced by the manners of people who aimlessly manipulate various objects, drumming with their fingers, snapping them or pulling them to a crunch in the joints, constantly touching the face, hair, adjusting clothes, preening, examining themselves in the mirror, intently examining a hair or a pimple on the face; with the fingernail of one finger, they clean the dirt from under the other. All of these prohibitions are justified. Violent gestures and continuous fuss are unsafe for the surrounding people and objects. And the resemblance to a windmill does not adorn a person. (“And don’t cut the air too much with your hands,” Hamlet advised wandering actors.)

Educated people speak quietly (in the street, at work, at home), laugh sincerely, but in moderation, eat silently, yawning becomes silent with a certain training. The quieter a person “sounds” in everyday life, the higher we evaluate his manners.

Imagine that you are blindfolded and offered to shake hands with several people. By the way they shake your hand, you can get information about their upbringing and manners. Some squeeze their hand until it hurts, so that the fingers seem to stick together; others shake and rock it, as if testing the strength of the joints; the hand of others is sluggish and lifeless, like boiled flounder; the fourth put their hand into yours, but not all, but only the tips of the fingers, and graciously allow you to shake it. But how pleases you energetic, strong and polite friendly handshake!

How do we greet? The guys at school asked: why can’t you say “hello”, “hello”? Who said you can't? Can. It all depends on who and where it is said. The word "hello" (from the verb "greet") may well serve as a greeting between peers. The point is not in the word itself, but in the tone in which it is pronounced. If your “hello” sounds joyful, accompanied by a smile, there is nothing wrong with that. When, while greeting their comrades, young people make a squeamish grimace on their faces and chant “hi-and-ve-et” through their teeth, this is very disrespectful. But then there are people of an older generation, colleagues ... "Hello!" And if so: “Hello, Maria Nikolaevna!”? A trifle, a nuance. But manners come from this. And the distance for the greeting must be guessed: from afar it turns out somehow obsequiously. Came close - impolite. There is some invisible line, as if limiting the space necessary for a person in order not to experience discomfort. This space should not be invaded.

Now about acquaintance. The first minutes of communication sometimes determine the nature of future relationships. Therefore, it is important how people will be introduced to each other. (Do I need to be reminded that the first name, patronymic and last name should be pronounced clearly and not in a patter when meeting.)

Doctor of Cultural Studies, consultant of the International Center for Advanced Studies Vladimir Nikitin expresses his point of view on the problems of education. He has two adult children: daughter Olga is 29 years old, she is an architect, and his son studies at the printing department at the Technical University "KPI", he is 25 years old. An analysis of personal experience and the desire to deeply understand the essence of education as such allowed Vladimir Afrikanovich to draw some rather interesting conclusions.

Education, I think, is much more complicated than education, and therefore it seems to many to be a simple and secondary matter: after all, parents and school used to cope with this - they can handle it now. I think that they will not cope - the world has changed a lot and is changing. The school already has no claims for education - there are no opportunities.

I understand that, firstly, who really brings up is difficult to understand: family, yard, school, city, TV, or all together. Secondly, that there is great uncertainty about what is considered the goal of education - career and success in life, the ability to love or survive, the observance of norms of behavior?

I think our generation has been lucky and unlucky over time. We are experiencing a civilizational break, which is no less in scale than the break in the Renaissance, perhaps even equal to the one that occurred during the transition from antiquity to the Christian world. Then these breaks lasted for centuries, but we are experiencing this for one generation, although we have not yet fully realized what happened to us. Often you have to remember your childhood, look at your children - and, on the one hand, be horrified, and on the other, understand the abyss that divided our world and which you have to pull together with your own life and your own understanding. It is very easy to scold the youth, because even in the ancient Egyptian papyrus, three thousand years before our era, it was written: "The world is coming to an end, because children have ceased to obey their elders." It is more difficult for older people to understand and accept what they are responsible for preserving in the world and what they should pass on to children, and what children already understand better or more accurately than we do.

I grew up in Kiev in the courtyard of St. Sophia Cathedral. Then I worked there for many years. The feeling of this historical clot was always simply present in me and around me. My school was elite (No. 13, Kiev). Karamzin stood in a morocco binding in the school library and was handed out to schoolchildren, documents of Peter and Catherine, collected works of the famous pre-revolutionary publisher Marx. All world classics are also in luxurious bindings. We were taught pretty well, the preparation was very good, and I passed the lessons in the library. I sat under the ceiling on the stairs, where the old librarian could not climb, discovered books that were still left from the gymnasium library - from French novels of the beginning of the century to books on the history of art. There was also a huge bookcase at home, where I spent part of my childhood. My father was a military school teacher. I saw little of my father, he was at work almost all the time. But when he studied in Leningrad at the military academy, I lived with my parents for two years in the very center of this wonderful city. My mother took me to the Hermitage almost weekly. Even today I can describe everything that was there then. I did not pay special attention to the general education school - I studied in sports school, art studio, spent a lot of time with friends. Nevertheless, our entire class easily entered universities, and I personally entered the Faculty of Architecture. Architectural education provided unique training - both technical, humanitarian and design.

For parents, it was very important to keep the measure. As a child, I was forbidden to read a lot, in the first classes I was limited to a hundred pages a day. My father was pleased that sports distracted me from binge reading. My parents are from a deep province, and it was very important for them that their children go beyond them in life. Parents successfully combined what was preserved from the traditions of a large family with the achievements of urban civilization. I began to understand the role of parents in my upbringing rather late, after 35 years. I studied at an elite school, a bohemian faculty of a university - and I got the impression that my parents had already fallen behind. But the fact that it was my mother who took me to the Hermitage, I appreciated only after 30 years. A conscious attitude towards parents began to take shape late, when I was already confronted with my children.

I received my basic education and upbringing not at an institute or at school, but with Georgy Petrovich Shchedrovitsky, a philosopher and methodologist. I worked with him for a long time, 15 years. Participated in seminars and games. This was a person who was engaged in thinking, reflection, or rather, it would be said - "set" thinking. He was a great teacher for me. He shaped my attitude to the world and allowed me to understand something in it. I realize now what great luck it is to see a living specimen of personality.

It is very difficult to educate your children, because upbringing is always violence, where you instill cultural norms or set character. You have to enter into some other relationship with your children, namely the moment of violence in education and creates a gap between the educator and the child. Parents have slightly different functions than the educator.

Modern education should give an understanding of what you want from the world and what you want to do in it. I realized that it is necessary to educate the sense of boundaries and the need for different things. It is the loss of boundaries that is a sign of a lack of education in general. The concept of boundaries between different things, the ability to move from one to another - this is the ability that allows you to treat elders as elders, younger ones as younger ones, Jews as Jews, Christians as Christians.

There are three aspects to family education. The first is the preservation of relationships of intimacy, where the moment of speaking is very important. Many family tragedies could have been avoided if we had talked to each other more often. I realized that family relationships are work, and that they need to be restored anew every time. And when you feel that something is torn, you need to try to immediately restore intimacy by talking to each other and helping each other.

In education, the presence of models is still very important. The tragedy of modern culture is that living samples have been replaced by virtual ones. The superhero Batman is very difficult to imitate, it is impossible to perceive him as a model, living models are needed, and it is very important to point out such models to children.

The second layer of education is “staging before”. About the young Onegin, Pushkin reports that he was taken for a walk in the Summer Garden; among the sculptures, among the secular public, he got acquainted with the world in which he was to live, the structure and patterns of which he comprehended from childhood.

The third educational function of the family is the task of teaching to distinguish, and not only good and evil, but, as mentioned above, many other things. If you pass on to children the ability and ability to distinguish, and not just impose your differences, teach them to independently comprehend, understand, reflect, then you will prepare them to live in a changing world. Reflection from the school system is completely thrown out. The ability to look at yourself and others from the outside means transcending the boundaries between yourself now and yourself in the place from which you look. This ability is not given naturally, it is set technically. When a child finds himself in a difficult life, you need to manage not to punish him, but to help him “set” his eyes on his act, on those around him, on himself in this situation and see a way out.

Returning to the questions about upbringing, posed at the beginning, I will give my answer, understood from those relationships with parents, city, children, books that I spoke about above. As they liked to say in the 19th century, it is the environment that educates, and not the individual, and the responsibility of the older generation for the nature of this environment is unconditional, and the family is the nuclear cell of this environment - the first, protective and shaping the character of the child, the shell.

The goal of education, I think, cannot be success in life or career. I knew parents who, realizing their duty in this way, maimed their children, making them champions. The goal of upbringing is to preserve the continuity of the human world, including through understanding one's place in supporting the connection between generations, the integrity of the environment where children end up.

A sign of an educated person is his careful and responsible attitude towards others. BUT modern world breaks - and it becomes as difficult to educate as it is to remain on your own well-mannered person.

Respect is determined by a person's behavior, manners, ability to dress. The foundations of education are laid in childhood. Parents and people around them act as a model of behavior with which the child reads the data and applies it in adulthood. A well-mannered person who treats people with respect. The rules of behavior change under the influence of such factors: place of residence, status and religion of a person. IN Lately publications are published proving the influence of heredity on personality manners. What is upbringing? Is it an innate or acquired quality?

What is upbringing?

An educated person respects people regardless of circumstances. At the same time, different requirements are imposed on the child and the adult. It is enough for children to follow the rules established in the family. The respectfulness of an adult is manifested in following a good tone and maintaining the norms of behavior adopted in a particular environment.

An educated person, being in society, takes into account what customs are inherited in the country or family. For example, in the East it is customary for dear guests to pour an incomplete cup of tea. Replenishing the glass, the owners of the house once again show attention.

An adult has to maintain the level of education, because the world around does not stand still. Cultural trends and political views are changing. The foundations of manners are laid by parents, then a person educates himself.

A cultured person is distinguished by gestures, facial expressions, and speech. During a conversation, a well-mannered person does not wave his arms, pronounce the words in a calm tone, and do not grimace. Such a person reacts to the opinions of others, does not slander behind his back, releasing sharp and sharp things. A person with impeccable manners is called diplomatic, tactful, polite.

What kind of educated person is he?

Codes of conduct are created by people. Therefore, disagreements arise in the definition of a respectful person. Such disputes are easy to resolve. Ask the people around you why they consider you a well-mannered person. We list the criteria that are recognized by society:

Charm and good communication. A well-mannered person radiates benevolence, does not resort to a raised tone. People are drawn to such a person, surrounded by attention.
Intelligence. For many, this is a synonym for a cultural personality. An intelligent person is restrained, laconic, with self-esteem. It does not get out of balance, no matter what happens around.
Tact and delicacy. A well-mannered person would rather remain silent than express an opinion that will offend the interlocutor. In conversation, he does not use swear words, does not touch on topics that are unpleasant to others.
Respect. Not ostentatious quality and playing in public is noted. A well-bred person will treat a stranger or a loved one with the same respect.

Factors affecting upbringing

Raising a child is not only about instilling kindness and good skills. Adult people face betrayal, anger, hatred in life. Therefore, it is important to remove rose-colored glasses from the child in time. Tell children instructive stories, analyze examples from life.

Since the skill is laid from an early age, the behavior and character of a person are influenced by parents. What other factors affect upbringing?

Family relationships. A child in the womb reacts to light, sounds, voices. Therefore, you should build not from the day the baby is born, but from the day of conception. Banal conflicts lead to serious quarrels. Adults are not ready to give in, they are looking for the extreme or the guilty one. Take as a basis to discuss scandals and admit when you are wrong. Show your child that love and understanding reign in your family. To the children of other people, consider his opinion and allow him to enter into debates. Let him learn to defend his point of view tactfully and reasonably, and not with shouting and tantrums.

It is better to show once by example how a well-mannered person behaves than to explain the rules of behavior a hundred times.
Environment. Mother or grandmother takes a greater part in the upbringing of the child. Cones fall on them if the child stumbles. The ideal scheme of upbringing is the equal participation of mom and dad. But, in addition to communicating with parents, the child visits Kindergarten, school, mugs. Children watch TV and play computer games, read books. Education is formed under the influence of information received by the child outside the home. At the same time, the opinion from the outside is valued more than the notations of native people. In order not to lose authority, be interested in the affairs of the child, pay attention to him every day, analyzing together how the day went.

Do you want to grow a well-mannered person? Forget about the use of force, do not make comments to the child in the presence of strangers. Let your children know every day that he is important to you. By instilling rules of conduct in a child, adults maintain their level of deference.

Good breeding: innate or acquired quality?

Previously, it was believed that if you surround the baby with well-mannered people, then an angel will grow out of him. Research scientists have proven otherwise. Education is influenced by the efforts of parents and genes. Physical ability and health also contribute. No wonder couples who decide to adopt a child carefully study who he was born to.

Scientists have proven that heredity affects the upbringing of a person. If identical twins are separated in infancy and given to different families, then they will still retain the same character traits.

On the other hand, the rules of conduct laid down in the family have an impact on a person. , aggressiveness, non-standard actions are the consequences of upbringing. Callous parents grow up. An unstable family environment leads to problems in adulthood. Scientists have identified factors influencing poor parenting: poverty, domestic violence, poor nutrition, the presence of bad habits in parents. It is possible to stop the destructive impact if you connect outside help. Participation of social services, the passage of rehabilitation programs.

Which side is the truth on? Is education an innate or acquired quality? In fact, it is impossible to consider the situation one-sidedly. A person is born with a set of genes that. At the same time, being in society, succumbing to the influence of others, the personality changes, builds a line of behavior. Human manners are formed in equal parts under the influence of:

hereditary factors. Includes character, vulnerability and the physical state baby.
Education. It is formed as a result of the attitude of parents and others to the child, the presence of stressful situations and aggravating circumstances.

A person's personality is formed as a result of the interaction of heredity and upbringing. These two factors complement each other, connecting at certain segments of life. The first three years are dominated by genes, biological data. Then they weaken, and the environment of the baby is connected. During this period, genetic vulnerability manifests itself. Constant stress and depression change a person, affect respectfulness and disrupt brain function. Scientists have proven that proper upbringing can defeat genetic diseases.

Surveys have shown that the level of upbringing is falling. Contribute to this other patterns of behavior. If we return to the recent past, we can see that the representatives of the weaker sex were brought up in institutes for noble maidens. In addition to education, girls were instilled with communication skills and decent manners. , refined taste was instilled, attention was paid to behavior. The boys aspired to get into cadet schools, where, in addition to military wisdom, they learned responsibility, composure, and politeness. Today at public institutions assign a role to education, but not upbringing. Giving all the cards to the parents. But, not all adults are ready to raise a worthy unit of society.

How to become an educated person?

Analyze your behavior. Think about what aspects or traits of character you would like to improve. Then ask your friends to give you a description. Work on your negatives and weaknesses.
Respect those around you. Start with destruction. Don't let yourself think badly of other people. Before speaking out, giving advice, think about whether you would like to hear such words addressed to you.
Chat with people casually. People perceive the inability to maintain a conversation as bad manners. After all, such a person is silent or says nonsense. Enslavement, timidity, leads to the fact that a person is embarrassed to speak out. In order not to pass for an ill-mannered person, learn to communicate with people.
Find the ideal. At first, you will need a role model to form the basics. Look for a well-mannered person among friends. The hero of a movie or book will do. If there is no suitable example, then make new acquaintances, communicate with people more often, note what qualities of character you like, learn from experience.
Accept other people's opinions. addressed to a person, ridiculing behavior or clothes indicate a lack of education. Each personality manifests itself in its own way and does not need to impose your opinion. You can not make fun of people with physical or mental disabilities.

Good upbringing is formed as a result of heredity and the contribution of parents, the public. A person is able to improve this skill by working on himself. The level of upbringing is manifested in non-standard situations. If the manners of behavior are superficial, then under stress a person will break loose and show true emotions. Good breeding, given by nature and acquired during life, attracts with manners, sophistication, the ability of a person to communicate and look decent.

If you ask several people what it means to be educated, you will probably get different answers. Indeed, being educated is a whole art, and now, unfortunately, not everyone owns it to the fullest. You can not become educated immediately, a person learns this throughout his life. You can talk about good manners for hours, but in this article we will talk about the main qualities of a person who can rightfully be called well-mannered.

Features of a well-mannered person

The most important quality of an educated person is that he thinks not only about himself, but also about other people, and behaves in such a way as to live in harmony with himself and with those around him. An educated person tries not to interfere with other people, always comes to the rescue, if he is able to help, he is always polite and tactful.
An educated person observes etiquette (rules of behavior in society).
An educated person respects other people, their opinion, which is different from his own, is tolerant of others, their habits and interests, even if he does not like them.
He always behaves appropriately and according to the situation.
An educated person has self-esteem, lives in accordance with his desires and duties, while not infringing on the rights of other people.
He takes his job seriously, whether it's work or study. He does his job with all possible dedication, conscientiously and efficiently.
A well-mannered person keeps his promises and always arrives on time.
He is friendly to others, feels confident in the company of strangers, because he knows how to properly behave with them.
He knows how to hide his emotions when necessary. An educated person is restrained and correct.
An educated person is a good conversationalist. He knows how to listen, maintain a conversation and respond.
He is honest with himself and with other people.
An educated person knows.
An educated person honors and observes the laws of his state.
An educated person behaves correctly in disputes. He does not try to subordinate everyone and everything to his point of view, but he also defends his opinion firmly and skillfully. What does it mean to be educated in an argument? If a well-mannered person makes a mistake, he will not be afraid to admit his guilt and apologize.
An educated person does not try to live off the labor of other people. He is independent and does not force anyone to do anything for the sake of his own well-being.
An educated person makes decisions independently and is responsible for himself and his actions.
An educated person is sincere in personal relationships, loves, understands and respects his parents.
He watches his words and their meaning. Able to control his speech depending on the situation and position.
An educated person does not use profanity.
An educated person never stands still, he constantly develops spiritually. With such a person it is pleasant to communicate and be friends.

This is what it means to be educated.

How often do you hear people think about what it means to be educated these days? Our society has made progress in many ways, the standard of living has become better. But despite this, you often observe that many simply have not been taught the elementary norms of behavior. But the real adornment of a person is not gold and diamonds, but his words and behavior.

It's nice to hear from others that your opinion will be heard, it means a lot and everyone considers you a well-mannered person, this is the best praise. But how does one form such an idea of the surrounding people? Maybe, having received a diploma, any of us immediately automatically become educated and cultured? And is upbringing important in our society, or is a decent education still the main thing?

An educated person has good manners that are rooted deep in his mind. His behavior will remain the same, no matter the circumstances. Some may restrain themselves while they are in plain sight with strangers, but may be rude to loved ones when no one is watching.

In an educated person, intelligence is rooted inside.
It’s nice to be around well-mannered people, outwardly these charming people.
Their words will not be rude, tactless, they behave delicately with others.
They treat others with respect, causing mutual respect.
An educated person does not attract all the attention to himself, leaving others in the shadows, not allowing others to say a word. Such a person knows how to listen without interrupting.

But what does it mean to be educated from birth? It is especially important for the younger generation to see examples of such behavior and learn from them, but much depends on the parents. If mom and dad do not themselves possess such qualities, do not consider them important, it is unlikely that their children will grow up well-mannered. If children are not taught to give up their seats to elders in transport, or they can speak disrespectfully to elders, and their parents do not react to this, they will grow up rude and behave in a boorish way. Parents are the teachers from whom the child learns the most and the main responsibility in matters of education lies with them.

Watching how adults behave in different situations, what kind of relationship between mom and dad and other family members, how labor is valued in the family, the child absorbs this and he develops certain behaviors. It is important how adults talk to children, in what tone. If a mother explains everything with a cry, what will these words mean: a well-mannered child cannot look intimidated. After all, good breeding is the ability to conduct a dialogue, unobtrusively, respecting the opinions of others, even if it is just a baby. You can say the right words, but in such a tone that no one wants to listen to them.

Paying attention to external things, beautiful clothes, hairstyles, let's also remember the main human qualities that make us human. Of course, a well-mannered person will look civilized and neat in appearance, without losing moral qualities. And it is also important that these qualities will help you to be happy yourself.