Some men have a habit of disappearing for a while and then returning again without explanation. This article will help you understand why guys disappear and how to deal with it.

In general about the issue

Men are interesting creatures that can be very unpredictable. They exhibit several behaviors, some of which make us scratch our heads and make us frown, but in other cases they may surprise us.

When it comes to relationships, men are afraid of responsibility and begin to behave strangely. They simply disappear for a while and then suddenly reappear, though in many cases they never even come back.

No calls, no letters, no messages from them. A man simply stops communicating with you, although a few days before that he confessed his love to you.

Here are some good reasons why guys disappear and then come back.

He meets several girls at once

Men these days seem to enjoy playing such games. It is not uncommon for them to date at least two women at the same time.

Although it is not a crime today to meet several girls at the same time, only dishonorable people do this. By playing a double game, the man gives the girls false hopes. He views partners as a commodity, not as a person. Women are human beings first and foremost and should be treated with respect.

Yes, some women also exhibit this behavior, but it is more common in men. It is they who have a biological predisposition to such actions, because this is how they feel desired and in demand.

But in fact, they just cause heartache to both women and themselves. Everyone deserves love. And this selfish attitude hurts people. This does more harm than good. Only those men who have problems with self-esteem do this.

Sometimes this means that he really has a lot to do, and you are not a priority for him.

Sounds silly, but very true. Women are not the only meaning of life for men. They tend to have a difficult career situation, great parents, and possibly a lot of responsibilities. Although this is not a reason to ignore the woman he is dating.

According to male logic, he should avoid relationships if he does not have enough time and energy to build them with a girl. He must find the strength in himself to confess this lady, and not just disappear without a trace.

Men are so busy these days that they tend to forget that those around them also have feelings. Thus, in fact, the representative of the stronger sex allows himself to hide behind his busyness, so as not to devote time to a woman.

Sometimes it means that men are afraid of commitment.

These days, a lot of guys are afraid to build relationships. And all because they want to keep their image of a bachelor.

For many men, settling down means signing their own death warrant. This means that there will be no more evenings with friends, this is a restriction of freedom. It means forgetting about personal interests and just constantly spending time with one person.

This is a myth that men go into believing when faced with potential long-term relationships. They enjoy their space and freedom, so they regard the nascent relationship as a potential threat to their independence, when in fact they are simply afraid of commitment.

Of course, there are guys who have suffered from past relationships, and the remnants of these unfortunate feelings remain with them. This hinders the building of new relationships. Some men have seen friends get burned and swear they will never let themselves get into that situation.

Regardless of their reasoning, the fear of commitment should not be an excuse to disappear and damage close person. Again, a man must be honest and let a woman know the truth so as not to waste time in an empty relationship.

Sometimes it means a man wants a relationship so he keeps his distance.

Yes, there are people who are not sure what they want. They are constantly changing their minds about which direction they need to go and how to live.

According to male logic, they want to be the ones in control of the relationship. All relationships are a power struggle and most men don't want to share control with a woman. When the feelings get deeper and the attachment stronger, the guy has to decide if he wants to continue all this.

Unfortunately he usually doesn't have that desire and finds ways to slow down and keep things going. certain level. And that's when he disappears.

Yes, he loves spending time with a girl, but doesn't want to hurt her by pushing her away. It seems that in such cases they say: "He sits on two chairs."

Again, a man does not tell his girlfriend a lot, leaving her at a loss, does not give her the freedom to find love with another guy. Only cowards do this.

A man is not sure about his feelings for you

When it comes to relationships, many men are not sure if they want to start something serious with the woman they are dating.

At first they are sweet and caring, and then they become callous and cold. They don't seem to know what it is. serious relationship how much work to put into them. You can be the girl next door, with whom he is calm and comfortable. He is completely satisfied with such a relationship, and he does not want, and is not ready for something serious.

He might be the guy who invites you to spend time with him today, and then suddenly ditches the idea and wants to hang out with his friends.

Most likely, if he continues to reconsider his decisions, he will be afraid to understand that he is serious about you. Unfortunately, this is a sign of a weak relationship, and you'd better run as far away from such men as possible. In the near future, he will not think about you, and it is simply pointless of you to invest your heart and time in him. He's not worth it.

Instead of doubting himself and his feelings, he should take a serious look at his life and be honest with himself instead of disappearing.

He is not your match

Unfortunately, this is a very common reason why a man disappears. He thinks he gave you a chance. However, you are not the person he wants to be with. According to male logic, he leaves so as not to break your heart, when in fact his act causes you even more pain.

There is no crime in not loving a potential partner, however, it is not normal to allow a person to think that everything is fine when it is not. It is much more humane to be honest and end the relationship before it develops into something more.

A small conclusion

Yes, there are a lot of guys who choose to act like a coward instead of being honest and letting the ladies go. It is mean and very bad to deceive a girl, although a man often does not give a damn about her feelings.

You can’t just break out of control and disappear without a reason and an explanation.

While there are many reasons why guys disappear and reappear, it all boils down to one sign: move forward!

Women don't need a man who disappears in an unknown direction when the relationship begins to develop. This is not the person you want to build a relationship with. Regardless of the reason he left, this is unacceptable behavior. It is better to leave and find someone who is more worthy of your time, attention and affection.

Keep your head up and aim for what you want, not what is in front of you. You must do this for yourself.

Date: 2015-11-25

If you met a man on the Internet, through friends or in any public place, then went on a date and had a good time. A day passes, a second, a third. And the guy does not call or write. What to do if the man disappeared without explanation after the meeting? Our top right SMS will help to stir him up and get news from him.

Why do men disappear?

There can be many reasons why a man disappears:

1. He is very busy at work (starts new project, writes an annual report or a scientific dissertation, saves aliens from a flood, flew to the moon for silver water).
2. Flight, trip and other adventures on a business trip. Usually in such places the Internet is bad.
3. An ex-girlfriend showed up, who kindled feelings for him again.
4. In you, he saw a hysterical, vixen, a materialistic person or a girl who reminds him of his ex.
5. Just not "him".
6. He wanted only physical contact from you, but he realized that you are not like that. Wasted no time and ran away.

This is a personal matter for each girl, but if you want, if this man hooked you, you must try to get in touch with him. Yes, many girls will say that this man should take the first steps: write or call. When you think so, it is better to just wait 3-5 days. If during the planned days the guy did not show up, then you should cross him out of your contacts.

And for those girls who want to immediately sort things out, move on, we will have some advice. So you can immediately decide for yourself: what to do next with this man.

There is nothing shameful in being the first to write to a man. But this must be done competently: subtly, unobtrusively and in a feminine way.

Urgent meeting‼

Girls, please screenshot these rules for yourself:

1. If a guy or a man disappeared without explanation, then he needs to write only 1 time. If you texted him, and he does not get in touch for several days, feel free to cross him out of your life.
2. Don't knock on closed doors. Even if he answered you for the first time, and in the following days is silent again, erase this person from your memory! You should not constantly write to him if he does not show any interest in you.

What to write to a man if he is gone

6th place: Message-provocation

The message is suitable for those girls who are familiar with someone from the company the right man. There is a high probability that the guy will “bite” on this particular hook. Send him a message like this:

There are 2 options here: either the man does not react to this or gets in touch with the thoughts: “Who? What? Where? When?". The second SMS should be with an apology something like this:

5th place: Message-provocation

Another provocation could be:

A man, when he sees this, will definitely react somehow. If it worked, then the next message should be an apology. But if he did not answer, then you can safely delete his number from the phone book.

On average, a busy man needs 2-3 hours to respond. Perhaps he will answer you in the evening after work. In any case, you need to wait for SMS no more than a day.

4th place: And again a provocation

In this option, you can immediately kill two birds with one stone and test it for sympathy for you. You need to write a message like this:

If the man doesn't respond, then goodbye.

In any case, you should easily part with a man. If he doesn't get in touch, don't tease him. One message is enough.

3rd place: Question

The man disappeared without explanation? Try this simple and unobtrusive option. You can interest a man with such SMS:

A great way to push the guy to the answer. After all, you saw him (no) and are interested: he was it or not. The option is quite unobtrusive and easy. A good reason to start a dialogue.

If you communicate with a man in messengers or in social networks, then you can send him some nice photo or audio and provide the message with a small comment.

A great opportunity to demonstrate your good taste or find common ground in your tastes.

1st place: Best choice

Excitement and sympathy always speak of good breeding and high level person. A man will see that what is happening to him is important to you. What if something happened or you need moral help and support? SMS should be something like this:

Materials taken from the channel of the instructor on the charisma of relationships and a true man Lev Vozhevatov.

If a man disappeared without explanation, try, take a chance and write to him. Perhaps he really was busy and could not write you a couple of lines. Other secrets can be found in our other article.

Thanks for your time

The man appears and disappears again? What is hidden behind such behavior of a man? Why is he doing this? And why does a woman endure and wait for a man's behavior to change? Let's try to understand this topic together with a qualified psychologist - consultant Alla Shelgunova.

Alla, tell me what lies behind such a relationship? Why do men behave this way, and why do women allow themselves to be treated this way?

In order to talk about this topic, you need to turn to such a concept as the relationship between a man and a woman.

It should be noted that harmonious relations are a search for harmony, integrity, unity. When a man meets a girl, and then leaves her, disappearing, it seems without a trace, this may indicate that a person does not achieve these feelings of integrity. Only some part of his soul, psyche receives satisfaction, while others do not.

A man leaves for a reason, he can look for relationships with other representatives of the fair sex, it turns out that he cannot build a relationship that satisfies him with this girl.

What then makes a man come back?

Perhaps this conflict attracts a man, but if a person is attracted by conflict, then this, most likely, speaks of his neurotic, masochistic personality structure. It turns out that he finds a certain, partially unconscious, pleasure in these relationships. Here we certainly cannot talk about harmonious relations, they are doomed.

There is another explanation for this behavior of a man. A man is interested in a woman only, for example, sexually. After satisfying his interest, the man disappears from the woman's life, because. he is not going to build a long-term relationship with her.

On the other hand, a man does not want a woman to lose interest in him, it is important for him that at the right time for him, she told him yes and had no other lovers. Therefore, sometimes he appears and manifests himself in relation to a woman not only as a lover, but also as a caring man.

So, a man forms in the mind of a woman, a certain image that fascinates a woman and allows her to accept it every time he returns.

The psychology of a man's behavior in such a context will always leave questions, because. every man has his own reasons for doing this to a woman.

Now it's time to turn to the woman. Why is she willing to endure all this? What attracts her in this relationship? Why does she let a man treat her like that?

There is a lot to be said here, both that she hopes the man will change, and that she will constantly justify the man's behavior in ways that will temporarily give her peace of mind. But, in fact, she is a victim in these relationships, but why should we feel sorry for her? A man humiliates a woman as much as she allows him to.

After all, she is the mistress of her life, she herself chose such a man, and continues to endure such an attitude towards her. It is her business to accept such behavior of a man or not.

But we can look at such relationships from a different perspective.

If a girl accepts such an attitude towards herself, tolerates it, then maybe it invigorates her, maybe she also experiences unconscious pleasure from such relationships, but as they say, this is everyone's choice. Then the comments here are meaningless.

There is such a variant of the origin of events when a girl fell in love with such a man. But, how can she keep the relationship in this case?

The answer is simple - to suffer. You need to understand that if a man disappears not for the first time, if this becomes a trend, then nothing good can be expected in such a relationship. If she is worried about this behavior of a man, then first you need to understand her own contribution to this relationship, start with yourself. So, if a girl is worried about such an origin of events, if she feels uncomfortable, suffers, and cannot cope on her own, understand why a man behaves this way, what is her contribution to these relationships, then you need to seek help from a psychologist.

If a man is in love with a girl, he will want to be with her, do something for her, look after, appreciate and respect her feelings. Will be devoted to a girl, from the point of view of depth psychology, a man will idealize his beloved at the first stages of acquaintance, see her good qualities and sincerely believe in their joint future.

If a man systematically disappears and appears, then we can say for sure that he does not have strong feelings for a woman and he has no desire to build a family with her.

A man who seemed to be in love with a woman suddenly disappears, it is worth wondering if he is really in love?

If a woman and a man had a harmonious relationship and the man suddenly disappears, such a couple should come to an open dialogue.

Perhaps it seems to a woman that the relationship is beautiful and she is comfortable in it, but the man does not feel like a man in this relationship and solves this problem with his departure.

Therefore, it’s worth sitting down and discussing everything from the position “I feel when you act one way or another.”

Usually, it is difficult for a man to change partners quickly, so if both are willing to work on a relationship, the man will stay in this relationship and stop disappearing.

And if we bring to a common denominator, then everyone has a choice, if people feel good together, albeit in such relationships, then let them live or exist together, this is their life.

Alla, please give advice to girls / women who find themselves in a similar situation.

This topic is relevant and many girls suffer because of this behavior of men. Each pair has its own nuances of the origin of events, we cannot take into account each, we only operate known facts and we put forward assumptions, hypotheses, but nevertheless, each case in the psychology of relations between a man and a woman that creates an alliance of such a plan must be analyzed individually.

In order for the relationship to be harmonious, you need to talk with your partner about the existing difficulties or problems, talk about your feelings, be honest, respect and love each other.

Psychology will not give exact algorithms and advice on this topic, remember one thing, always focus on your inner world, let your heart make a decision. Be alone with yourself, and it will tell you whether to leave this relationship or work further in it and change something. Remember, you are the mistress of your life and only you can decide with whom to be and how to build relationships and it is in your power to change your attitude towards yourself.

Hello. My main question is - is it normal when a man disappears for a day or two? Is this called a break from a woman? I'm 21, he's 28. He's recently divorced, I understand. Relations spun by themselves, I doubt that he initially counted on something serious. But everything turned out as it happened: half a year already together, we spend all our free time together, everything is fine, but ... as I understand it, a person really appreciates freedom and personal space, and I myself am like that, but when he disappears for a day or two, when there are no calls and no sms… it’s strange for me… At these moments, there is a complete feeling of uselessness and use, a feeling that I just don’t give a damn about my feelings (this happens once every two or three weeks)

Hello Karina!
If you want to know my personal opinion, then I do not consider it normal. But the main question is, do you yourself consider this normal behavior? You write that you yourself "value freedom and personal space." What does this relationship mean to you: Are you planning to start a family with this person or are you considering it as a temporary option? Do you love him and can you imagine him as your husband?
If the relationship is serious enough for you, then you should talk openly with the young man, say that it’s hard for you when he disappears and you feel that you are being used, etc. In a conversation, one should try to avoid "you-messages" (they are perceived as accusations and the person begins to defend himself and also accuse in response), it is better to talk about yourself (in the first person), talk about your emotions and needs, but not go over to criticism.
Sincerely, psychologist Larisa Berezan

Good afternoon Karina.
The first thing that caught my eye in the text is that you have been spending all your free time together for six months now. I am surprised. Usually, after a couple of months, couples begin, so to speak, to remember that they have other hobbies, friends, hobbies, besides love). Therefore, I can assume that your man may indeed have some need for space. Another question is how exactly he implements it (more on that later). Another important follow-up question: don't you need the same space? Don't you have independent interests from your partner? If there are none or there are few of them, then you might think what interests you and what would you like to do in your free time from work (study) and men? Autonomous interests are very important for a couple, as they are a serious source of energy, life for her.- in constant merging (when you are constantly together with your partner), something new cannot arise, and when each of you can draw something from the life outside of you, he can bring it into a couple.

You write: "as I understand it, a person values ​​freedom and personal space very much" - that is. these are your assumptions, but have you asked him why he does this? Does he know that you are offended by his behavior?
Your feelings of abandonment and uselessness quite understandable in this situation.. Whatever your partner does these days, and why would not do, his form of implementation is really unpleasant, outrageous. But then again, does he know about it? Suddenly, in previous relationships, this was the norm of life and he does not understand that this is not the norm for everyone. It's important to clarify this.

I thought that even if we take for granted his need to disappear like this (maybe he really has one for some reason), then it can be legalized in your couple. It is important for you to understand whether you can be with it. If the answer is yes, then the question becomes how. For example, you can determine for yourself the frequency of his disappearances, which you can withstand: for example, once a month or another specific figure - you can even experiment with this (one number in one quarter of the year, another in another, to understand how you both are comfortable). Secondly, you can agree that he will warn you (at a time comfortable for both of you) about "these days" or you will even have such a schedule. Naturally, all this is real if a man also goes for it. If not, then it is important to return to the question of whether you are ready to put up with this, but already realizing that there will be no support and understanding from your husband, that everything will be as unpredictable as before. Of course, in such a situation, it seems impossible for me to maintain a sense of security in a relationship.

If you find it difficult with autonomous interests, talking directly about the situation, setting boundaries, or you are experiencing other fairly serious difficulties in establishing contact or other areas, I suggest contacting a specialist that you like (me or another practicing psychologist).

Sincerely, psychologist Zinenko Alexander.