I have such a problem.
I suffer from cleanliness. Excessive, increased disgust from everything and everyone. Sometimes I think it's a disease. I can wash my hands after each activity. And I still feel like it's progressing.
I cannot touch clean things with "dirty" (as I think, maybe they are not dirty in the literal sense of the word) hands, for example, washed linen.
I also have this constant feeling that I can't wash my hands. That is, I know that they are clean, but it seems to sit in my head that this is dirty, it stuck to my hands and does not wash off. I wash and wash and wash my hands. CONSTANTLY. They are white and rough steel from soap. I can use an entire bar of soap in a day, especially on weekends when I'm at home.
And after sex, I feel dirty, and after sex, I wash all the things that I was in, and I completely wash myself.
What should I do?
I read most of your answers, unfortunately, there is a tendency that you answer that you need a face-to-face consultation, I don’t have such an opportunity, so I ask you, give me a direction, what should I do, maybe what I need to read, in which direction I need to act.
I myself suffer from this, because I know that this is happening on psychological level or spiritual, and because of this, conflicts constantly occur with parents, colleagues at work, etc. And I don't have any friends.
Thanks! I will be very grateful for the answer!
Mira, Kazakhstan, 29 years old
Psychologist's answer:
Hello Mira.
This is obsessive-compulsive disorder (obsessive-compulsive neurosis). Intrusive actions relating to the continuous monitoring of the prevention of a potentially dangerous situation or of order and accuracy. It is based on fear (such as the fear of pollution, leading to obsessive handwashing). Compulsive ritual actions can take many hours a day every day and are combined with indecision and slowness. Causes: the impact of a traumatic factor (trauma during childbirth, heredity, psychogenic factors). Washing hands as protective actions that a person performs to alleviate his fear are called rituals. Performing such actions, a person experiences relief, and fear is slightly reduced. I'm sorry, but you need to see a psychiatrist. Self-treatment of this disorder is impossible.
Sincerely, Lipkina Arina Yurievna.
Obsessive-compulsive disorder includes such a category as obsessive-compulsive neurosis. A person as a whole is healthy, because he maintains an objective perception of information, realizes that some symptoms of the disease appear in him, and also tries to control his obsessive thoughts, fears and anxiety. But often this is very difficult. And this state can continue until the cause of the neurosis disappears, loses its relevance.
A person can become afraid of many things. Often this is due to the specific circumstances of the situation in which the person experienced some kind of anxiety or fear. This turns into a vegetative manifestation, which is displayed as pain in certain areas of the body.
A person may have heart or side pain, while he feels anxiety. And all this happens every time a person again finds himself in the same conditions in which he previously suffered negative emotions.
That is why people are afraid of closed or open spaces, transportation, specific individuals, heights, infections, and so on. You can observe how some people wash their hands for any reason.
Why do they want to wash their hands after every movement? Because they are haunted by obsessive ideas that they have a dangerous infection on their hands that will enter their body and kill them. That is why such people rarely visit public places: restaurants, toilets, public transport, swimming pools, etc. And if they get into such places, they thoroughly wash their hands several times in one visit.
Features of the disease
A feature of this disease is the constant repetitive actions that a person performs under the influence of obsessive thoughts, anxiety and fear. How is this different from habit? The fact that a person does more harmless actions than other people.
For example, a person checks several times whether the door is closed, or returns home to make sure once again that the iron is turned off. The patient constantly twitches his arms, legs, blinks, etc. At the same time, the person himself admits that he cannot control his movements.
Since this is a consequence of increased timidity and, a person himself cannot cope with this disease. However, his conscious understanding that the neurosis of obsessive movements is a consequence of his own thoughts, as well as an adequate perception of the world, allows him to cope with the problem himself.
But still, treatment is required under the supervision of a specialist who will help the patient get out of this condition. This is not a disease if the person himself does not read himself sick.
Treatment
The treatment of this condition is complex. A person must understand the seriousness of his condition. The first signs of illness should not be ignored, as they may soon develop into something more. Despite the fact that a person is not hospitalized, he still needs qualified help from a psychologist who will make a diagnosis.
The goal of a psychologist is to eliminate fears and anxieties and to completely change a person's attitude to those situations that frighten him. That is why not only medicinal, but also behavioral therapy is carried out.
During this therapy, a person is placed in a situation that frightens him. The goal is to eliminate anxiety and show what actions can be taken in this case. Patients with obsessive-compulsive disorder often forget that they can do other things. And here we need an illustrative example, close person, which will show what can be done in a given situation.
Hello! I would like to consult with you, Lately I notice something odd about myself. Firstly, over the past few months I have noticed that there is a constant desire to wash my hands, because it seems that they are dirty (even if they are not), from time to time I even wake up with the thought that I urgently need to wash my hands. The same thing with smearing lips with hygienic lipstick, you constantly want to do this, even though everything is fine with the lips, as well as with the hands. I can also go through things for hours, wash and clean the room 5 times a week, even if everything is clean, to some extent perfectionism even, I constantly want to organize everything, sort it out ... The second - before leaving the house / an important event / or just some kind of internal anxiety arises from scratch, I start to frantically walk around the apartment and see if extraneous electrical appliances are turned off, and all that, before leaving the apartment I can walk in circles for 15-20 minutes and think whether I took everything, whether I put everything together, and then - whether she closed the door, turned off the light, even if everything was done. And the third - some strange obsessive thoughts. If I become sad because of some even a small incident, then it begins to seem that everything is meaningless, that this sad state is for a long time and that everything I do is meaningless, and all that. It goes away as suddenly as it starts. When I take a knife in my hands to cut vegetables, thoughts involuntarily appear how I cut people or animals, even if I don’t want to think about it. I read on the Internet that these are like symptoms of OCD, but I’m not sure .. I only know that about a year or two ago there were not so many oddities, so it didn’t really bother me then. And now somehow I feel uneasy .. What could it be? How to get rid of it?
Anonymous, Russia, 15 years old
Psychologist's answer:
Hello Anonymous.
These are signs of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), which includes obsessions and thoughts and calming rituals (actions, thoughts). Intrusive thoughts, images, or impulses (obsessions) that occur over and over again are perceived as out of control. In most cases, a person understands that these thoughts do not make any sense. Obsessions are usually accompanied by intense and rejected feelings such as fear, disgust. Obsessive thoughts (obsessions) in OCD: Pollution (fear of..): - bodily fluids (feces, urine), germs/diseases (e.g. herpes, HIV), pollution environment(e.g. radiation), household chemicals (e.g. solvents), dirt Loss of control: - fear of harming oneself (impulse, impulse), fear of harming others (impulse, impulse), fear of violent images/images in the mind, fear of uncontrolled use profanity, insults, fear of theft, fear of harming any property, fear of doing something terrible and being responsible for it (for example, arson), fear of harming other people due to their carelessness (pushing someone, for example) Obsessions, related to perfectionism: - anxiety about clarity or accuracy, fear of losing or forgetting something important information, fear of losing things Unwanted sexual thoughts: - forbidden or perverse sexual thoughts or pictures, obsessive thoughts about homosexuality, desires related to children or incest, obsessive thoughts about aggressive sexual behavior towards others Intrusive thoughts related to religion: - fear offending God or thoughts of blasphemy, excessive concern for morality/immorality Other obsessive themes: - superstitions about lucky/unlucky numbers or certain colors. Obsessive rituals in OCD (compulsions): Washing and cleanliness: - excessively frequent handwashing, showering, brushing teeth, other hygiene procedures - excessively frequent cleaning of the house / household items Checking: - checking that you have not done anything that could harm others or to yourself, that you were not mistaken, that nothing terrible happened, that you are healthy, all parts of the body are in place that it is "good", "correct" or "safe". Everything you described - sorting things out, cleaning the room five times, checking everything is off, and so on - these are rituals that OCD people use to reduce anxiety due to intrusive thoughts. The first step in treating OCD is to increase education (psychological competence) about the disorder. If you do not understand what OCD is, the causes, conditions for the development of such thoughts, methods of influence, then a person may approach treatment with apprehension and doubts. He may also be afraid that a doctor or psychologist / psychotherapist can immediately send him to a psychiatric clinic. Treatment for OCD is a combination drug therapy and usually cognitive behavioral therapy. For this you need a neurologist, psychologist/psychotherapist.
Sincerely, Lipkina Arina Yurievna.
Hello everybody. My name is Andrey. I am 29 years old, my wife is 28. We have been married for almost 4 years. It all started a little over a year ago, when my daughter was six months old and she began to crawl. At first, the wife said that, when coming from the street, you need to take off your shoes so that you don’t step on the carpet with your toes on which the shoes are standing. It was not clear to me, but I began to take off my shoes as she wanted. At first I thought it was postpartum syndrome and did not attach any importance to it. But then every day the situation got worse. I began to notice that soap began to run out very quickly. Increased water consumption. And up to incredible sizes (up to 30 cubic meters per month). For comparison, in a family of 5 people, usually no more than 9-10 cubes. Then she started to pick on me. It became impossible to sit on the sofa or somewhere else in street clothes. It became impossible to invite people into the house, because they will cause dirt. The wife began to go to bed late, because after putting her daughter to bed she spent another 2 to 5 hours washing dishes and floors. She refused my help to wash the dishes, arguing that I would not wash her well. I bought her a dishwasher to make her job easier. It helped, but not for long. Then I began to notice that she began to wash her hands very often, then she began to wash these hands up to the elbow, now sometimes she washes up to the shoulder, and it doesn’t matter at all, after which she washes her hands like that, after washing the meat or after she throws out daughter's diaper, washes with the same thoroughness. Her hands are in a terrible state, rough with a white coating, with redness. Recently, she washes her hands every 2-3 minutes. Just like that, even if you didn't touch anything. I roughly calculated that she washes her hands 300-400 times a day !!! Daughter, too, all the time drags to wash her hands. About 2 months ago I began to notice that my wife began to wipe door handles, switches and the doors themselves with vinegar. She again wipes all the products that are brought from the store before sending them to the refrigerator with vinegar. If I wash vegetables for salad and carry them to the table and at that time at least one drop drips from my hands, the wife rushes with a rag (again with vinegar) and wipes the floor very carefully in this place. About 3 months ago she began to tell me to wash my hands after I go to the entrance to smoke. Recently I began to say that when I swim, you can’t put the shower in the bath. All my attempts to get a clear explanation from her why it is necessary to do this, lead to nothing, she gets angry, does not want to talk. Sometimes she doesn't even manage to eat during the day, because she constantly washes something. Our washing machine is open 24/7. In addition to everything, the wife is also pregnant for the second time, in the fifth month. Because of her lifestyle, she gets very tired, constantly angry, screams at me, at her daughter, says that we are pigs with her, that there are only problems from us. He constantly tells me that he hates me, that I ruined her life, that if it were not for my daughter, she would have left me long ago. And I try to do everything the way she wants. Lately, my nerves just can't take it when I look at what she's doing. Yesterday there was another scandal, when I saw that she began to wash tomatoes with soda, I just could not restrain myself and began to yell at her. We fight almost every day. I tried not to pay attention to what she was doing, not to tell her about anything, it did not help. Scandals still happen because she just takes her anger out on me. And I come home from work and sit down to work at home (I do video filming, I edit at home), because we have an apartment in a mortgage, we need to somehow earn money. Until my daughter was one and a half years old, my wife received benefits, now she does not, I provide for the family alone. I can earn money, but I have to work a lot, both at work and at home and on weekends. And my wife doesn’t even let me get enough sleep, she puts her daughter to bed and goes to bed until 2-3 in the morning, sometimes even until 5 she slams dishes, stools and something else, washes sinks, toilets, baths, walls in the bathroom, floors, water is constantly making noise . Sleep is impossible. Our apartment is one-room. To my requests to try to be quieter, he says: "who wants to sleep, he sleeps." In general, I was exhausted already both mentally and physically. The family is on the verge of collapse, I don’t know what to do. And I can’t live like this anymore and I can’t leave, because someone has to feed my wife and child. Even though my wife always says "wait" to me, I can't see you anymore. She does not want to talk about the fact that she has mental problems. They started treating me like a dog, maybe even worse. No kind words, no elementary attention. Never hug, never kiss, never ask how you are. I come home from work, instead of "hello, how are you?" she says to me: "go wash your hands." About 3 months ago, I persuaded her to go to a psychologist, she went 10 times and left, saying that she didn’t need it. The fact that she has obvious problems does not want to admit, although I showed her articles on the Internet and tried to explain myself, nothing helps. Any person who somehow begins to tell her that something is wrong with her immediately becomes an enemy for her. It happened with my parents, with her mother, sister, grandfather. She has no friends. She does not want to go to my friends, because "they are all pigs." Constantly at home in the constant washing of everything around. She already really "roof" went, I don’t know how to help her. He does not want to go to a psychiatrist, he says go yourself. In general, I am in complete despair, I simply do not have the strength to endure all this, such a life is just hell. And the worst thing is that if I still leave her, all this aggression directed at me will spread to my daughter, and I cannot allow this. I love my daughter and she loves me too. Here's how to be!?
